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Placated, Eli rushed off to his room.
“Get out of my house.” She was there, in front of me, dressed in the same clothes she’d no doubt left the house in the night before. With her untamed frizzy hair and dried mascara around her eyes, Ellen Porter was a mess. But it had nothing on the anger rolling off her.
“Mom, Becca is a friend. I had no one to take care of Eli. Mellie is out of town, remember?”
Realization flickered across her face, but her eyes never left mine as they narrowed into thin slits. “Get. Out. Of. My. House.”
I rose calmly, keeping my hands plastered to my sides, and walked right past her. No words were spoken, no eye contact made, as I walked out of there holding my breath. Evan’s jaw clenched, his posture tense with fury, but I kept going until my hand wrapped around the door handle and I yanked, stumbling out into the fresh air. It was like a slap in the face, and my composure slipped away as tears rushed to the surface.
Why had I come here? I didn’t deserve this. She didn’t know me from Adam, yet she obviously didn’t like me. I willed my legs to move, to start walking, but I couldn’t stop trembling.
Before I knew what was happening, Evan was there, pulling me into his arms.“I’m so sorry. She’s a bitch.”
His arms smoothed down my back and around my waist, anchoring us together. I’d missed this—being close to Evan—and for a second, I allowed him to comfort me.
But that was all it could be, and soon, I said, “Stop, stop.” I struggled out of his hold and reared back, my hand shooting to my side. “What are you doing, Evan?”
“I…” His eyes glittered with emotion, and then he focused on my arm. “You’re hurt.”
It wasn’t a question.
“I’m fine,” I said. “This, us, it’s done. Maybe this was a bad idea. I thought I could help out with Eli, but your mom hates me and being around you makes me…” I swallowed hard, his intense gaze pinning me to the spot. What had I been about to say?
Evan inched closer, and I retreated, trying to keep some distance between us, but my back hit a wall, and I sucked in a sharp breath.
One of Evan’s arms came up to the side of my head, his palm flat against the paneling. “Being around me makes you what, Becca?”
He was too close. I couldn’t think straight with him so near, with him looking at me like that.
“Evan, I…”
His free hand traced my cheek, burying itself in my hair as he gazed down at me. “What is it, Becca? Talk to me, please.”
“I…” The words lodged in my throat as my eyes shuttered. I couldn’t let him do this to me, not again. Pushing hard against his chest, I ducked around him and hurried down to the sidewalk.
Had I really been about to let him kiss me? More importantly, had I wanted him to?
“Becca, wait.” He sounded desperate, and part of me wanted to turn around and run to him, to tell him that all was forgiven. But I knew better.
We both still had secrets, and in the end, they would destroy us.
* * *
When I got home, I went straight to my room and threw myself on the bed, my body still trembling from being so close to Evan. I should have known better than to think I could be close without really being close. The memories of him, us, were still too real.
“Becca, I’m going into town. Did you want to come?” Mom yelled.
I called back, “No.”
I didn’t want to play happy family. Not with her. Or Dad—not that he was around much lately. Mom said he was busy, but I wondered if his own guilt was too much for him to bear. There was a pause. I couldn’t hear her sigh, but I imagined it. She just wanted things to go back to how they were when I was a happy-go-lucky teenager with the world at my feet. But we couldn’t go back. That girl was gone.
My cell phone bleeped, and I rolled onto my back, drawing my knees up, and dug it out of my pocket.
Hey, it’s Lilly. Wondered if you wanted to catch a movie later?
I rolled my eyes despite the faint smile tracing my mouth. Of course, I knew it was her.
It bleeped again before I could reply.
