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“No, I’m fine. Just feel sick. I’ll be fine after some water and my bed.” Which was where I planned to spend the rest of the day until I figured out what the hell I was going to do.
“Look. Aren’t they just lovely?” My eyes landed on the bouquet placed in the middle of the kitchen table. “I put them into a vase already; they’re too pretty to dry out. There’s a card. I promise I didn’t read it.”
Mom handed me the card, and I sat down, opening the seal. “Well, what does it say?”
I can’t stop thinking about you.
It was everything.
“Becca, what is it?”
Somewhere in the periphery of my mind, I heard her, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from the card. It made no sense.
“N-nothing,” I stammered, but she was hovering over me, straining to see the message.
“What does that mean ‘it was everything’? What was everything?” Her lips were moving again, making sounds, clattering against the noise already drowning out everything in my head.
“He doesn’t mean…” Disappointment glistened in her eyes. “Becca, tell me he doesn’t mean what I think he means.”
“I can’t do this.” I barged past her, running down the hallway, taking two stairs at a time. Why would he do this, knowing that my mom would take the delivery? It made no sense.
Nothing made sense anymore.
I slammed the door behind and threw myself on the bed. I wanted to scream, to tear the pillow apart until it was nothing but feathers and shreds of cotton. I wanted to hurt something—hurt myself—just to feel the pain shattering through me. Because anything had to be better than this. Living a lie. Fighting to stay afloat.
“Becca?” Mom called through the door.
“Go away,” I yelled.
“Becca, did something happen?”
“Go. Away.” It was a guttural roar, ugly and deafening. I didn’t even sound like myself. Mom’s footsteps sounded outside my room, and then she was gone.
And I was alone.
My cell phone bleeped. I wanted to throw it against the wall and watch as it smashed into a thousand pieces, but as I clutched it in my hand, something stopped me.
I’ll be home early. We need to talk. Dad
So he could give me another lecture about Mom, no doubt. I flung it across the bed and closed my eyes. If I squeezed really tight and focused on the sound of my heart galloping in my chest, the thoughts almost faded into nothing.
Almost.
I didn’t know how long I laid there. Mom came and knocked again but respected my privacy when I didn’t reply.
Hours passed, and dusk fell. I’d had text messages from Evan and Lilly, both worried about me, but I didn’t reply. I needed time. Time to decide what to do next. My cell phone lit up. I’d turned off the notifications hours ago. I slid my finger across the screen, sucking in a sharp breath when my eyes landed on the words.
We should talk.
Now she wanted to talk? After making my life hell for the past few weeks? What could she possibly have to say to me? Before I had a chance to reply, another message came through.
Meet me at Rogues, in the parking lot.
I wasn’t a fool. I knew she hadn’t had a change of heart. People like Kendall didn’t change. But maybe she realized I would never hurt Evan, not deliberately. It was a bad idea. I couldn’t trust her, but what choice did I have?
CHAPTER30
EVAN
