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“Okay,” I growl with a chuckle. “I get your point.”
James merely shrugs before sipping his beer again.
“Seriously, ask me next month, and it won’t even be A, B, and C anymore. I’ll have moved on to D, E, and F.”
I snort.
“You’re a walking bag of STDs, you know that?”
James merely shrugs, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
“Nope, because I’m always careful. Condoms, my man, condoms. And always bring your own because you know these chicks. They’ll take a needle and prick the condom before you use it if you’re not careful. Then, your swimmers get into her and fuck! You’re a daddy in nine months time.”
He's saying this to be funny, but to be honest, his words depress me and I let out a deep sigh. My buddy cocks a black eyebrow my way.
“Something got your goat? Shit man, that wasn’t news to you, was it? I mean, girls these days are really conniving and aggressive. I know it seems like overkill, but you’ve got to be careful. Play it safe, buddy, otherwise you really will be a father in nine months time.”
I roll my eyes.
“No, it’s not that. If anything, I’m in a completely different boat.”
James stares at me, his confusion apparent.
“You got married? Why didn’t you tell me? Who’s the lucky lady?”
“No, no,” I growl. “I didn’t tie the knot. It’s just that I’ve been seeing this woman…”
“Ah,” my buddy grins. “So now the gory details come out. Spill it, my man. You haven’t mentioned any of this at the station.”
I merely slump lower into my seat.
“Yeah, because it’s kind of a … ahem, ‘new’ situation so to say. Or untraditional, at least.”
James stares at me, his blue eyes squinting.
“Why, is she your sister? Your mom? Your cousin?”
I belch rudely, not even bothering to cover my mouth.
“No, fucker. We’re not related. She’s my neighbor.”
James just shrugs then, not even put off by my beer breath.
“Oh ok, no worries then. So what’s the problem? Are you breaking the law? Is she underage? Illegal? The boss’s ex? Lots of nasty scenarios out there.”
I roll my eyes.
“No, she’s pregnant,” I say in a short voice. “And she’s twenty-two, sassy, and sexy as hell.”
James whistles.
“You got her pregnant by accident, my man? Shit, I’m so sorry. Ignore everything I said just now because I was clearly out of line.”
I snort.
“No, it’s not that. The baby’s not mine. She used a sperm donor, so actually she’s going to be a single mom.”
“Okayyyy,” James drawls, shooting me a searching look. “So what seems to be the problem?”
