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Chapter Thirteen - Lillian
“So, I kind of have something new to tell you too.”
Chuck takes a sip of his coffee, looking around at the Christmas decorations just added in the coffee shop. “Oh yeah?” He seems a lot more relaxed over the last few days. He’s owning his new discovery.
“I have been seeing an older man…” I don’t have the balls to tell him it’s his dad yet. But I can at least ease him into it by letting him know I really like the man.
“How much older?” His nonchalance is reassuring.
“Late forties.”
His eyebrows shoot up over his coffee cup. “What the fuck?” He puts his cup down on the table a little too loudly so a few people look at him with concern. “That’s too old for you, Lil! Why would you date someone that old? You’re going to find someone our age. It’s just a matter of time.”
Umm, when did I ever give the impression of being desperate for a boyfriend? “That’s not why I’m dating an older man. I really like him! He’s smart, kind, sexy, romantic, and I’m really excited about this. I want you to be too!” The disappointment leaves me a little angry. After everything I’ve helped him through emotionally the last few weeks without any judgment and he reacts this way to my secret? How on earth is he going to react when he finds out the man is his dad?
“Why would you date someone so old?” He looks completely dumbfounded and still far from being supportive.
“Because I don’t think age matters in this circumstance. I think it’s everything between us that makes it so worthwhile. His age doesn’t change what we could do and be together.” I could have everything with him I could with someone my age.
“Oh, really? Does he have kids?” Of all the questions he could have asked about him.
“Yes, he does.” I cross my arms from behind the counter. I can’t tell him today that it is his dad. The timing isn't right.
“Okay, how old are they?” He looks more concerned by the second and it grates on me. How can he be concerned for me? It’s perfectly healthy and normal. I can’t believe how judgmental he is being.
“They’re our age…” The admittance doesn’t leave my mouth easily.
His teeth grit as anger blooms across his face. “How could you not tell me this was going on? You’re letting an old pervert take advantage of you. How long has this been going on?”
“No, I’m not! And we’ve been seeing each other a few weeks.” It feels like a lot longer, but I can’t really count our first weekend as when it started since we didn’t see each other until Felicity’s Christmas party.
He looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “What has gotten into you?” His stare is heavy.
I feel myself buckling under the pressure of his disapproval. “I’m going to the bathroom.” I nearly run to the ladies' room. It’s enough for me to clear my head for the moment and take a breath. I know what I feel for Charles, and Chuck isn’t going to dissuade me from my own feelings. He can disapprove as much as he likes, if he can’t be as accepting to my discoveries as I have been to his, then that is his problem. That doesn’t make me a bad friend. Although I’ll feel like one if I lose him. He’s been my rock and I’ve been his for a very long time now.
I leave the bathroom quickly, half scared I’m going to return back to the table to find him gone. But when I see him still sitting at the table, phone in hand, I breathe a sigh of relief… until I see his phone on the table and my phone in his hand. Who is he on the phone with?
“Chuckie, why are you on my phone?” The question threatens to bring bile to the back of my throat because the look on his face tells me everything that I need to know.
“You’re fucking my dad?” His eyes overflow with disgust as he chucks the phone down on the table in front of him and stands up so quickly, he sends the chair clattering to the floor. “What the fuck is wrong with you? When did you turn into a whore?” He holds his hand up when I try to step close and take his hand. “Don’t touch me. I don’t want to know you.” He holds up his hands and backs away. He stalks out the coffeeshop in a shot without another look in my direction.
Sitting back down, I try to contend with the thought that he may not come around to this. He was so angry. I’ve never seen him that way toward me. Not even the night he tried to confess his so-called feelings for me. What if I had liked him back and taken him in that night? He would have still at some point realized they were false feelings and dragged me through the mess of it all. He wasn’t thinking about my feelings then, and he isn’t thinking about my feelings now. He’s being selfish and I don’t know if that is because of what he is going through within himself at the moment or if he has always been that way.
“Hey, baby girl.”
His voice is my undoing as a sob erupts out of me and into my hands as I cover my face. “He’s so mad at me.” I curl into him as he kneels next to the chair and wraps his arms around me, shielding me from the people watching around us.
“Oh, no… Baby girl, it’s not you he is mad at. I think he’s just angry at the world. He’s always been that way but it’s been worse recently. It’s probably more my fault than yours for not being around for him enough. He’ll come around.” His arms hold me tightly as he lets me take the time to compose myself once the sobs stop coming.
“Let’s go back up to my apartment.” He shields me from the onlookers as we walk back to the apartment building.
I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to get out of Dodge so much.
