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“You kind of scare me.” Deja’s look borders on disgust as she processes the information I just disclosed to her. Noah and I have been seeing each other for weeks now and still haven’t moved past first base.
“What is so scary about taking it slow?” I’ve thought about us going further multiple times and sometimes very nearly just asked him to fuck me when we have kissed and it has gotten a little hot and heavy. I almost feel seventeen again except I know he promises a lot more than a seventeen-year-old boy. However, as eager as I am to cross that line with him, I’m also worried it won’t be what I’m hoping it to be.
“You’ve been bone-dry for nearly eight years!” Deja has no consideration of volume as she throws the remark my way from the counter at the other end of the coffee bar.
“That’s one way of putting it.”
I jump at the familiar voice and spin to greet Fitzy. “Don’t creep up on me! You’ll give me a heart attack.”
“Darling, the only thing that is going to kill you is the dust bunnies. Leave Deja here to tend the fort and go find that fine piece of ass and get him to rail you.” She says it so seriously that I can’t keep a straight face and call her out on how inappropriate she is.
“Fitz, I’m happy taking it slow with him. Waiting a little while won’t kill me.” I reach down to take out one of Fitzy’s favorite pastries. “Here, my treat.”
“Darling, I doubt she thinks the same way as the brain in your head.” She points down to the crotch before taking the wrapped pastry from my hand and the to-go cup of coffee out of Deja’s. “Goodbye, ladies. Silv, do yourself a mighty fine favor and go get buggered nine ways till Sunday.”
I turn to Deja as she leaves, waiting for the smart remarks I know she is going to hurl my way, but she isn’t focused on me. She’s focused behind me.
“Should I ask what she is talking about?” If there’s one voice I didn’t want entering this conversation in the whole world, it’s that one.
“Noah! What are you doing here?” I use my arms to lift myself up over the counter to peck him on the cheek.
“I just wanted to see you. I’m on my way to sign a lease on the apartment I showed you pictures of.” The way he says it, I can hear and see the relief inside of him. He hasn’t stopped mentioning his desire for normality and staying at his friends' has been anything but for him. He, like me, enjoys his own space.
“Congratulations.”
He smiles a thank-you, and the affection in his eyes makes my stomach flip as I feel myself adorned by his gaze. “I’d ask you to come with me…”
“You know I have to work here; I have stuff to do. Deja and I are about to have the annual argument about Christmas decorations.”
Deja had been pretending she wasn’t listening to our whole conversation or watching out of the corner of her eye, but the mention of Christmas has her spinning around so quickly that milk sloshes out of the jug in her hand. She doesn’t react or seem to notice. “We have to decorate!”
“I hate Christmas.” It’s been more Christmas than I can count on one hand that has left me feeling too terrible to fix with a glass of wine and a bubble bath. Christmas always makes me feel bad and the feeling lasts for months. I feel as though I barely have time to recover before it is coming back around again.
“Yes, but you’re the only freak show that does.” She looks exasperated as she tosses paper towels on the floor to mop up the milk with her foot, kicking the dirty soiled paper toward the bin when she is done. Disgusting.
“I think we should leave decorating. Could even be a good experiment. We can see how many we sell compared to last year.” It’s a weak argument. I know she is going to make me decorate, but it’s always fun to try.
“I think you’re a monster. We are decorating. If you say no, I’ll quit and you’ll lose the soul of this place.” She pops the lid on the coffee she is making and leaves it at the collection counter.
“You’re the soul of this place now?” Some employers aren’t lucky enough to have loyal staff. Deja is loyal beyond belief. I never have to worry about her leaving or stealing, and she has to be the best coffee barista that has ever worked here including me.
“Exactly, I’m glad you agree.” She grains charmingly back at me as she mindlessly starts cleaning counters even though they’re clean because she didn’t drop a grain of coffee or a drop of water.
“I feel as though I’ve walked in on something I shouldn’t have.” Noah winks at me as he waves his coffee and heads to the door. “I’ll call you later.”
“Okay!”
“I can’t believe you don’t like Christmas!” he says before he gets too far away from the counter. I hadn’t thought about it, but this could be a big thing for him if he is a holidays kind of guy.
“I don’t really like any holiday.” Might as well drop the bomb now.
Deja drastically moans into a tea towel to muffle the noise. “You’re not human!” Her voice is raspy, like something out of a kids' sci-fi movie as she pins me with a pointed glare.
“I’m very human, more human than most if you hadn’t noticed.” I point down to my plus-sized jeans and she rolls her eyes.
“It’s Christmas, the time for Christmas songs to be on in the shops and pretty lights everywhere and enough chocolate and booze to have us floored for months! It’s magic!”
“No, that’s paralytic, you psychopath.” The idea of drinking to excess already makes me feel queasy. I’m just not built that way anymore.
