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Joseph sits down on the bar stool beside me, and I suddenly miss the warmth of his hand. He stares down at the textured wood of the bar until Eric returns.
“Her’, Alice.” Eric pauses awkwardly, suddenly looking down at his shoes like he doesn’t recognise them. “Um glad t’ ’ee ya’ safe return.” He nods, seeming to have confused himself even more.
“Thank you.”
Eric nods in response before returning to stand beside the entrance door.
“Does he always stand?” I glance at Joseph, who is sitting heavily on his bar stool.
“Yes. It’s what we do.” Joseph gestures to the bag now sitting on the bar between us. “There’s clothes in here. I think you should have a shower.” He says it like a command, which makes me raise my eyebrows at him.
Does he think he can boss me about just because he can save me?
The look on my face must make him reconsider because he clears his throat. “Having a shower will help warm you back up, and also help wash away the experience.”
Warmth fills his voice as he explains, and I feel a little bad for giving him such attitude. I know now that he really cares, but there’s nothing we can do about it.
“Okay, thank you.” I try to smile at him as I lift the bag off the bar, but before I can put it over my shoulder, he’s there, taking it from me. “You’re no—”
“I just want to check the bathroom is secure before you shower. I’ll wait outside.” His voice is gentle, an undertone pleading with me not to argue.
“Okay.”
Chantelle stops me on the way to give me my cocktail, promising me she’ll still be here when I come out. As always, she is listening and watching everything.
Upstairs, across from Tony’s office, is a spare room and en-suite bathroom all of us at some point have stayed in. I let Joseph check the bathroom, a little relieved to have the reassurance of him being there, before watching him sit down on the bed with a sigh. He gestures for me to go in.
“I’ll still be here when you come out.”
I bite my tongue and stop myself from telling him that I’m not sure how I feel about that.
The lock clicks with a solid thud, promising me even more safety. The window is barred and completely secure, and my body basks in the comfort. I’m safe. I look to the cocktail in my hand and down it in long deep gulps, taking a steadying breath when I discard the empty glass on the bathroom counter.
I look at myself in the mirror and cringe. I look positively horrifying. My skin is pale and unwell looking. Dark circles sit heavily under my eyes, and my hair is a tangled mess from being tied up on the floor for so long. How can Joseph look at me and say he loves me? I look disgusting.
I turn on the shower. The steam that starts rising instantly promises to wash off today. The last few days have been rough, but today really took the cake. I glance down at the red marking over my wrists from the zip ties. They really did a number on me, but I’m lucky to get out with just that. If Joseph hadn’t turned up when he did, God knows what would have happened and what state I would be in now.
Taking off my clothes brings fresh panic into my system. It makes me feel exposed, vulnerable, but I remind myself that Joseph is only on the other side of the door. For a moment, I consider calling him in so I don’t have to be alone, but remind myself that I’m a big girl and I can get through this.
The hot water does wonders for releasing the tension from my muscles and warming me right through to the bones. The body wash makes me feel clean again, and the shampoo and conditioner clears my mind of everything as I lather it up and wash it off.
I’m not in the shower long and dress in a haste to stay warm and get back to being around everyone. Joseph’s clothes are massive on me, but the tracksuit bottoms have a drawstring I pull tight to stop them from falling, and the large, long-sleeve T-shirt wraps me in warmth. It smells like him.
As better as I feel, I don’t want to be alone. I need everyone around to distract me from the events of today. They found me quickly, and I wasn’t kidnapped for long, but it felt like I was there all day.
My eyes seek Joseph as soon as I open to door. He’s staring at the doorway when it opens.
“Do you feel better?” His tone is void of the Alpha domineer he adopts when around everyone else.
His voice has returned to the soft husky tone I fell in love with over the phone. I hate him for letting me fall in love with him. We were doomed from the start, and he bloody well knew it.
“I do, but I still feel…”
“You will. That’s going to take a few days to go away. Just keep telling yourself that you’re safe again.” He rises to his towering height, gesturing down to the bag. It’s empty because I stuffed my dress in the bathroom bin. I don’t want to see that thing again. “Let me.”
He slips the bag from my grasp, stepping aside so I can lead the way back downstairs.
“Wait.”
