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“Yes. No. Oh... it’s everything.”
She sighs. “Start at the beginning.”
For the next thirty minutes, I bare my soul to my mom, not leaving out one detail.
There is silence on the other end of the phone, and for the first time ever, I can’t bring myself to care what she thinks. I didn’t do this on purpose.
“What a mess,” she finally says. “I really hoped I was wrong about Asher.”
“Me, too,” I cry. “I don’t like him like that. This is going to ruin everything, and I just got him back.”
I burst into tears.
I’m making a mess out of everything these days.
“I should’ve told him how I feel, but I couldn’t break his heart.”
“You should have. Asher is your best friend. I don’t always think he’s a good guy, Raven, but if you are set on making amends, I will support you. He’ll eventually come to terms with it.”
“You think?”
“Eventually.”
That’s Mom. She never overpromises or tells you what you want to hear. She’s straightforward and blunt at times.
“I should be so lucky that a guy like Asher likes me,” I say, sniffling.
“We can’t help falling for the people we do, Raven. You can’t regret not feeling the same way that he does. In time, he’ll find who he’s meant to be with.”
“I know you’re right, but it doesn’t stop it from hurting all the same.”
“That’s a sign that you care. You’re a good friend, baby girl. He’ll realize that one day.”
Hopefully, this doesn’t ruin our friendship in the meantime.
Right before I fall asleep, I realize Asher left me alone, knowing I was drunk and thinking I was going to be sick. The man I want to end up with would’ve played the knight in shining armor and refused to leave me for fear I’d drown in my own ick.
And this is why I’ll likely end up single with ten cats.
It’s too late to call Asher tonight, but I have to make plans to meet up with him before dinner with Lily to clear things up.
It’ll definitely have to be done face-to-face. This means we’re in for a very uncomfortable interaction. I try to put it out of my mind and fall asleep, but it’s no use. Sleep doesn’t come.
28
Raven
Nine o’clockin the morning is too early to deal with Asher.
Thursday night with him has me wanting to avoid him as much as possible.
When I get to the office, I settle myself in front of the computer and start working. An hour into the workday, everything is derailed by one simple message from Asher.
Asher: I had such a great time with you.
Asher: I hope you’re feeling better. xxx
God, I really fucked things up. I don’t see him that way, and I know I never will. Now, I’ve not only led him on, but poor Lily, who is clearly in love with him, is bound to find out. And right around her birthday week to boot.
