Page 29 of Sick of This Ship


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“Unbelievable.” I roll over, getting into position. “Make sure my face isn’t too clear on screen, remember?”

“I got you, babes,” Jamie says.

Seventeen takes later, and we’re back in port, the boat crew has tied us up to the dock, and we’re in line to disembark. I have my arms slung over Jamie's and Oscar’s shoulders.

“Get some good shots in?” Sebastian asks as he steps into line with us.

“One of the photos should work,” Jamie says, even though he looks less than certain.

“Got to keep up appearances,” I say, like Anna goes through this painstaking process every time she posts on Instagram. Sebastian’s phone rings. When he lifts it, it’s an incoming video call.

“Oh hey, Gran,” Sebastian says, answering. On screen, a round-faced older woman smiles back at him with bright eyes, as green as his own.

“What did you do today, honey?” She’s looking all around behind him. “Looks like a sailboat! Was it fun?”

“Amazing,” Sebastian says. “We swam with stingrays, and they played with us in the water. It was incredible.”

“You, playing with wild sea-creatures?” She sounds incredulous. “Who put you up to it?”

“My new friend, Anna,” he says, swiveling the video call towards me. I jump, and then plaster a smile onto my face.

“Anna Banana,” she says, “I’ve heard a few things about you.”

“You have?” That’s… unexpected.

“She has not,” Sebastian says.

“Well, what girl have you been following all week, if not this pretty one?”

“Gran!” Sebastian hisses, whipping the video camera back to his face, and his face only.

“He kind of has been following me around,” I say, squeezing my face into the frame. She laughs.

“I like this one,” she says. “Spunky. You can call me Grandma Maeve, by the way.”

“Alright, Gran, I’m sure Anna’s thrilled to meet you and all, but did you call for something in particular?”

“Only calling to say hello, Seby,” she says before she’s interrupted by shouts and screaming across the dock. Everyone on the sailboat turns and stares, as guys in security uniforms wrestle four people down the ramp from the cruise ship to the dock.

“I’ve got to call you back, Gran,” Sebastian says, signing off the video call. The guards have two men and two women clamped in their hands. The two men keep trying to yank their arms free, while the women kick at each other’s legs.

“You lying scum!” one man shouts over his shoulder. “We came on this goddamn cruise because you said it would fix our marriage, and now I find you with this guy?”

“You deserve it, you rat! I saw you withMissThing!” His wife spits a wad of saliva toward the other lady.

“We were only talking in the pool!” the second woman shouts.

“You call that talking?” the first woman yells back.

“She’s my wife!” The second man throws a punch at the first, momentarily gaining control of one arm. Security grabs his fist and bends his arm back. He shrieks, and the guards frog-march the group down the rest of the dock, past our catamaran, and up to shore.

“What a bunch of losers,” Sebastian says, shaking his head. “First to cheat, but then to lie, when the truth is so obvious?”

“So sorry about that, so sorry!” Eduardo Montoya, cruise director extraordinaire, rushes down the ramp to the dock after the group. He sees everyone disembarking from our catamaran and scoots over. “There was a tiny fight on board, not to worry, everything is fine now.” He greets each group as they step off the sailboat.

Since I have been avoiding him all week, I turn my face away and look back towards the horizon behind us. But my sister’s bright pink sunhat must give me away, because I hear Eduardo’s voice as soon as I step onto the dock.

“Anna Anderson, is that you?” I turn and paste a smile across my face. “Your mother wrote to me again,” he said. Do I detect a hint of annoyance in his tone? Perhaps I can use it to my advantage.

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