Page 3 of Sick of This Ship


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“There’s a woman,” he says. “She could be an excellent test case for you.”

“Oh, like a notorious shoplifter at the Ulla stores?”

“Not quite.” Mike shifts in his chair, and I get a bad taste in my mouth. “This would test how well we’d work together.”

“That sounds reasonable.” My chest loosens.

“Good, then.” Mike slaps his hands on the desk. “I’d like to send you on a final assignment as a P.I. It would be seven days, all expenses paid, aboard the Festival Cruiseline ship, Heart of the Deep, reporting back to me. You’d depart from New Orleans day after next, then head on to Jamaica, Grand Cayman, and Cozumel. I want you to find out if a particular woman is cheating on her husband.”

“You don’t want my test case to be about Ulla Beauty?” I say it before I think better of speaking my mind. But Mike doesn’t notice. He’s distracted by another message on his phone. His face goes red, and he starts angry-typing an answer, huffing. Then he slams the thing down again.

“Okay, I’ll come clean, Seb. Is it alright if I call you that?”

“Sure.” I nod.

“It’s my wife, Anna. She’s cheating on me. Secret calls, not answering her phone when she’s traveling for work, late nights out after she sings at nightclubs all over town. I’ve even seen her drinking with the same man multiple times at a bar near our house.”

He sighs, running a hand over his hair as though checking it still has its perfect frontal pouf. It does.

“Now, I have to skip our anniversary cruise, since the new Ulla LA store launch is behind schedule, and I can’t disappear on the team. I mean, it’s a ten million dollar build out, with a huge retail team staffed and trained, ready to rock. The upper-ups are breathing down my neck about the launch.” He pauses, as if assessing whether I’m tracking. I nod, and he goes on.

“The problem is, my wife has decided to go on our romantic cruise without me. She seems excited about it. Her man on the side must have been waiting to swoop in. I want you to follow her onboard and get me the hard evidence I need to confront her, once and for all. On a cruise ship, it will be impossible for her to hide.”

My chest caves. Cheating, broken relationships, this is the one thing I want to stop reliving. Now, another infidelity case stands between me and my dream job. I’m not sure how much I appreciate Mike anymore.

“Is this a test assignment for Ulla Beauty or for you?” I cross my arms. Mike rests his head on his hand, propping himself up with his desk, and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“You know what?” He shakes his head. “I’m sorry. I overstepped. Forget I said anything.”

We continue through the interview and Mike doesn’t bring it up again. But at the end, when he offers a limp handshake and a wan “you’ll hear from us soon,” I know what that means. I didn’t give him the chance to trust me.

I wave goodbye to his beautiful assistant, feeling a little foolish. Mike admitted he was wrong to bring a personal job into a business interview. I like that honesty. Why hadn’t I offered to do the job on the side? I mean, the people in the trenches have each other’s backs. Why couldn’t I have had his? It’s a cruise, for goodness’ sake! I love cruises.

By the time I hit the lobby, the voice in my head grows so loud I have to stop and stand still. I take a beat. Then two. I turn back to the elevator bank, climb aboard, and press the button for Mike’s floor.

CHAPTERTWO

ZOEY

“Please, I need you, Zoey,”Anna says again. “I wouldn’t ask if this wasn’t completely urgent.”

“Anna, you ask me literally every time you need anything.”

I cross my arms, trying hard not to smile as my sister gives me her sweetest of puppy looks.

“You love helping me.” She pats my hair. You would never guess she’s the older sister here. But she’s not wrong. She’s my universe. I am here for everything she needs, no questions asked. I learned my lesson back when we were young. The one time it mattered, I wasn’t there for her, and it shattered everything. I’ll never make that mistake again.

“What if I help you in LA? We could figure out what Mike is up to together. Girl power. Sisterhood of the traveling penis. All that.”

“Zo, the cruise is where I need the help,” Anna says. “You can easily pass as me in photos that aren’t close-ups. Keeping my Instagram full of cruise shots is the perfect distraction for Mike while I follow him around LA.”

“I’ll help you however I can, but I would be most useful on land.”

“I know you hate even the thought of a cruise. But think of it this way. It’ll be much better than lying around watching TV in your tiny apartment back in LA while you rest your ankle. I’m pretty sure you had no other plans for the break.”

“There’s plenty to do in LA, even with a sprained ankle.”

“You’re supposed to be resting, not running all over. At least on a cruise you can lounge at the pool, have all your meals taken care of, and beach it up in each port of call.”

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