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The doorknob quit jiggling and a pound sounded.
Paisley must’ve forgotten her key. Or maybe she gave me the only one.
“Hold your horses, I'm coming.”
It wasn't Paisley behind the door. Hallow waited behind it, looking more menacing than I’d ever seen him. His face, bloodied and beaten, studied me. His hands were clenched fists. One of those fists jerked up and snatched me by the nightgown, I’d reluctantly borrowed from my whore host. Without a word, he bundled me up and took me across the room. He threw me on the bed with so much force that I bounced like a ball.
“What in the tarnation do you think you’re doing?”
Laying back, I propped myself up on my elbows.
He scratched his face. Yes, scratched where the blood ran.
“Eve, how could you do that to me? And then have the nerve to have fucking Kingpin come and tell me, of all people. You send that batshit crazy psycho. You can't talk to me yourself? It's a goddamn slap in the face to our relationship. Sending my fucking Prez to beat my ass. That mother fucking twig. He wanted me to come to you. Here I am. I could’ve been fucking two bitches tonight. At the same goddamn time. Yeah, I got my dick sucked already.”
I gasped. “Lordalmighty.”
“Yeah, you heard me. I'm not some pussy. You can't just stand me up. Leave me at the altar and think that I'm gonna come crawling back to you. I’m going to get mine. I could have any woman in this joint. They be on their knees begging to suck my big dick.”
“Hallow, I sent Kingpin to explain. It's all just a big misunderstanding, I promise. I didn't wanna leave. I didn't know what to do when Hob showed up with the Asphalt Gods MC. Y’all would’ve killed my brother.”
“Your brother wouldn’t have been here in the first place if you hadn't called him. If you hadn't planned to leave me. If you weren't just pretending that you were going to marry me. Your big fucking wedding that was so important that you couldn't marry me right away because you had to have it all, the friends, a bridesmaid at my club.”
“My best friend died, Hallow.”
He wasn’t listening.
He slurred his words. “You've made friends with everybody. We have a big wedding that we had to plan for months, and then you don't even want to be there. And I know why.”
“Why? Kingpin tell you that, too?”
This was exactly why I didn’t lie because people could tell when I was lying. I was just that honest of a person I couldn’t lie without a tale. Couldn’t play poker worth a hoot. Kingpin must’ve known I was lying when I said I’d told Hallow I had a miscarriage. I hadn't told Hallow a thing. I’d been chicken shit. I might’ve told him if I hadn’t learned almost immediately, I would never have kids.
There was no way I could tell him I miscarried after that. Not without having to tell him the other part. And I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Why? I was scared. I was terrified that I'd given my heart to a man who wouldn't be able to love me when he learned the truth. When I couldn't give him kids.
I remembered after my best friend died and I spent the night with Hallow. We declared our love to one another. Right away, he wanted nothing more than to get me pregnant. And part of me loved that he expressed his love that way. He wanted to be with me. He wanted to procreate, reproduce with me. He wanted to grow old with me. He wanted to have a baby. Our blood lines to go on mingled together, forever. He wanted to have children and grandchildren and great, great grandchildren. He’d go on and on about it. I’d loved that about him until I knew I couldn’t fulfill that role for him.
What he wanted was something I could never give him.
“Kingpin doesn't have to tell me. I hear all the bikers here after you go to the Big House saying you’ve gone for your hot beef injection. You do whatever the fuck you're doing there with our Prez and all the sudden you have no problem getting up on stage and singing. You used to be this timid, sweet thing. And now you’re clearly comfortable up on stage, even with the skanky hoes taking their clothes off right next to you. And you sing your heart out when you’re singing with him. He's done something to you. Fucking you, probably. Turned you into one of his whores. Cause you sure as hell haven’t been fucking me.”
Hallow confused me. He still didn’t know about my miscarriage. We'd not had sex many times since I’d lost a baby. Since I hadn't told him about it, I couldn’t explain why I didn't want to make love to him lately.
“How dare you accuse me of such a thing. I've been nothing but faithful to you, Hallow. I fucking spent months waiting on you hand and foot while you were a goddamn invalid recovering from gunshot wounds.”
“Gunshot wounds from saving you.”
“Yeah. And I'm mighty grateful and I love you. And I wanted to marry you. And I'm sorry I got cold feet. I get nervous. You know that. But I’m not a whore. How dare you? I can’t believe you’d suggest I’d sleep with Kingpin. You know I never liked the man.”
“That was before. The old Eve. You used to get panicky about him all the time, but you've changed. You're keeping something from me? Kingpin told me that much, that you have a secret. He didn't say what?”
“I don't have any sort of relationship with him.”
“I have eyes, Eve. I see how you two are.”
“Yeah, I give him a hard time. I'm tough with him. Because I have to be. You brought me into this world of bikers. Of outlaws and assholes. You brought me close to a man like that. I have to hold my own. If I didn’t, he'd have power over me. I don't want Kingpin to walk all over me. I did, however, let him help me get over my nerves, that's all. Plus, I’m singing at Royal Road to help with finances.”
“Finances. Now you’re saying I don’t make enough money. Is that why Kingpin’s appealing, he’s rich? Before that girl he married showed up, you were spending an awful lot of time with him. Why else would you be so upset that he was going to marry her at our wedding?”
