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Chapter Eleven
Lexi
Ihad spent the day cleaning and doing work that I’d brought home with me. From time to time, I would find myself lost in a fantasy about Alex. I’d actually been able to picture the two of us walking down the street pushing a stroller. A little boy tucked into the seat as he pointed at things we passed while Alex carried a little girl close to his chest.
Would it be possible to have that with him? Did I really want that? Want Alex like that? I was quickly finding that the answer to both of those questions was a resounding yes.
My mind traveled back to Will, and I found myself comparing the two men. Maybe that wasn’t fair, because Will and I had been young. Both in our twenties at the time, but I couldn’t help myself. Will had made me laugh, and we’d talked about the future. In fact, I knew that once he returned from his deployment, we were going to be officially engaged.
We’d already discussed the plans and what our life would be like. He had wanted two children, and while he wanted to stay in the military, he talked about the places we’d visit together and how important family was to those who served. I had been excited to take that step with him, and it was two weeks before Will and Chad were supposed to return that my mother had called and told me to come home immediately.
When I arrived, there was an Army officer there, and my heart sank. I’d slipped down onto the couch beside my mother as the man had explained that my brother had been killed in action. My mother had grabbed my hand, “Lexi, Will didn’t make it either.”
I’d gone numb, felt everything else around me begin to fade as my dreams of a future vanished before my eyes. In a moment, I’d lost my brother and my future. I’d remained numb for a long time and hated the way everyone in our small town had wanted to talk about it. I’d despised the massive funerals and the pomp and circumstance that went with them.
It had taken a long time, and a move away, to get me to want to live again. Although it wasn’t until Alex showed up at my door that I’d realized that while I was living, I wasn’treallyliving. It was time now to put the past behind me and move forward. Could I love Alex the way I had loved Will? More? Was it possible to have two great loves in one lifetime?
My mind returned to Alex, and I thought over what kind of a father he might be. Nica and Alex appeared to have a great relationship, although I had realized through listening to their conversation that they hadn’t seen much of each other. Why was that? Was it because he didn’t want to? Or had work kept him busy? Did he really want more children? Would he be a good father? A good husband?
At that thought, I remembered Nica throwing weddings into the conversation. We weren’t anywhere close to that stage to discuss such things, but the idea had been planted. It was one thing to talk about kids because that was an important topic, but it wasn’t something to base a future off of.
By eight o’clock that night, I’d cleaned my apartment from top to bottom, done all my laundry, ironed my clothes for the week, and even took a long hot shower. I curled up on the couch with a glass of wine and found myself looking at the clock on my phone every five minutes. Had he changed his mind? Had something happened to him on the way home?
I was getting myself worked up and finished my glass and another one before there was a knock at my door. I sprang off the couch and paused at the door to take a deep breath. Alex was here; he hadn’t changed his mind, hadn’t been in an accident. Or had he changed his mind?
I let him in, and the minute the door was closed, I was back in his arms, immediately reassured. He scooped me up and asked, “Couch or bedroom.” Had I not consumed two glasses of wine, I might have said the couch, but the feel of his arms around me and my earlier thoughts today had me answering a different way.
“Bedroom,” I whispered, and his eyes widened ever so slightly. He didn’t say a word as he carried me down the short hall to my bedroom at the back of the apartment. The room was cast in soft light from the bedside table, and Alex let my body slide down his as he reached my bedside. His arms wrapped tightly around my waist as he kissed me.
He lifted my chin. “I would have been happy with the couch. I don’t want you to do something you aren’t ready for.”
I cupped his cheek, feeling the day’s growth of hair on his chin and shivering with anticipation of feeling that on my body. “I want you here. I wantyou, Alex.”
He inhaled sharply and began to kiss my face. His lips traveled along my cheek, over my forehead, and to the other side before he suckled on my ear. His voice was rough as he whispered into my ear, “Say it again, Lexi. Tell me you want me again.”
“I want you, Alex. I want you.”
His arms tightened around my body, wrapping me and my desire into a cocoon of warmth. His lips grew more intense as they skimmed the column of my neck, and his hands slid to the bottom of my shirt. He pulled the edge up and slipped a hand underneath. The heat of his palm enflaming the need to have him to epic proportions. I arched my body toward him as his other hand curled around my butt, and he shifted my hips to his.
I pulled at his shirt, needing to feel the heat of his skin on my palms, and he stepped back and whipped it over his head, dropping it to the floor. My arms curled around him, and my hands played over his full back. The muscles rippling as he bent his body around mine. He tugged my hair back and bit softly on my neck. I gasped in surprise as desire made my knees weak.
Alex stepped back and lifted my shirt slowly over my head; his hungry gaze latched on to my chest, and his hands curled around my aching breasts, kneading them and making my legs begin to quiver. He bent down, touching one covered nipple and then the other with his mouth, swirling his tongue around the peaks. He peeled the cups back, lifting my breasts higher and ran the pad of his thumbs over them before sucking one deep into his mouth. The sight of him at my breast made my knees buckle, and his arm wrapped tighter around me to hold me upright.
He dropped to his knees, kissing my stomach as his thumbs grabbed the waistband of my leggings, and he began to peel them down slowly. He kissed my hip bone, swirling his tongue over the sensitive skin, and then moved to the other side, pausing in the center to lick around my belly button. I held on to his head, needing something to keep me standing. The moment my pants were down to my knees, he pushed me back until I was seated on the edge of my bed. He pulled my leggings off, then ran his hands up my calves, to my thighs.
He pushed my legs wider, kissing up the inside of my thighs, his eyes opening and closing slowly, his touch so gentle that I wanted to beg him to be rougher. I needed more; I needed him to do more. His gaze shifted up my body as his hands once again grasped my breasts. “I love the way your bra holds these up like that.”
My core clenched at his husky voice. He sucked one of my breasts back into his mouth, then kissed up my chest to my neck. A whimper left my lips as his hands caressed my thighs, his thumbs coming to the apex of my thighs and then moving away. He chuckled. “You want more, don’t you, Lexi?”
“Yes,” I breathed as my head fell back so he could reach my neck better. He brushed his hands back up my legs, his thumbs coming closer, and I shifted my hips.
“I like that you want more, Lex. I want to give it all to you.” His hands drifted down my legs again, and I wanted to scream, ‘then give it to me already.’
As they worked slowly back up, he kissed his way back down. One of his hands came up to my chest, and he pushed me back gently as his lips touched my hairline. On my back, my eyes rolled back in my head at his first touch. A single finger sliding down and back, followed by two, then his tongue. He lifted my legs, putting them over his shoulders as he began to devour my sensitive flesh.
My hands fisted the quilt, and my body began to thrash as he brought me closer to the edge. He stopped for a moment. “Let go, Lexi. Let me see you fall.”
He brought his mouth back to me, slipping two fingers into me as he suckled me, and I was instantly at the crest and falling over. He slowed his motions as I came down and kissed his way up my body. It was only then that I realized he was still dressed.
