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Before I looked away, I saw the disappointment in her eyes.
Maggie turned toward Trevor. “Do you have a problem with me going with you guys?”
“Um, not really.”
“Not really? What does that mean? Do you think I could do it, or do you think I can’t?”
“I think you could probably handle yourself, Maggie.”
“Then what makes you hesitate to say I couldn’t do the job?”
Trevor didn’t answer right away, and when I glanced his way, the two of them were staring at me. Was I the reason he didn’t want her to go? If I didn’t have an itch for her, would he be willing to have her along?
I glanced around and didn’t see the second vest. “Give me the damn vest so I can run this again.”
Trevor shrugged off the vest and handed it over as I got ready. When he said go, I ran like my life depended on it. I told myself I was pushing to prove to him that I was better, but deep inside, I think I was running to see if I could outrun the past.
Chapter Eighteen
Maggie
When I climbed in my car, I was both exhausted and elated. I had passed the obstacle course, but I’d had to do it an extra time. The third time, I had the forty pounds back in my vest, and I struggled again at the wall, but I got over it and missed the target time by ten seconds.
It had taken a lot of convincing to get Greg to let me do it one more time. Luckily, Trevor had talked him into it, and on my fourth try, I got one minute fifty-eight seconds. I had done it. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to pass out or puke after I’d hit the finish line.
Trevor had helped me off the ground a few minutes later, gave me a high five and told me that he was impressed. Greg had given me the evil eye and walked away to start breaking down the obstacle course.
Now, as I drove home, every muscle in my body screamed. My legs ached, and my hands and shoulders hurt, but mentally, I was flying high. Greg couldn’t block me from going if I passed everything, could he? I didn’t think so, but I also didn’t know what everyone else thought.
Right now, I knew that Jake was on board, and Trevor seemed to be also. Although, I had a feeling that if it came up to a vote, he might back Greg. They were close, and they worked together. Plus, I’d learned that they had been together overseas for a time. I couldn’t compete with that. I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to come between friends, but somewhere along the lines today, this opportunity became something more than a chance at something different. It had become a possible future, and now, I wanted it.
I wanted this job, wanted the opportunity to work with Trevor and Greg, and the rest of the men, too. I wanted them to accept me and give me a chance to prove to them that I could do this. I knew I could.
I arrived home with enough time to take a long hot shower and begin to prepare dinner before my mother came back. The aide from the nursing home walked Mom to the door, and that was a significant indicator of the kind of night we were going to have.
When Mom was feeling good, and her mind was clear, she’d let herself into the house. On days that she was confused and tired, the aide had to bring her into the house because Mom wouldn’t recognize it or wouldn't remember that she lived here. Those days were few because she had lived here since before I was born. The house was deeply ingrained in her memories, but on those odd days when everything was foreign, so was the house.
I sighed as I turned the stove off, knowing that it was going to take a little while to get her settled. My stomach growled, and I silently admonished it to stop. I snagged a piece of broccoli off the counter that I’d been cutting and popped it into my mouth as I headed toward the front door.
“Hi, Monica,” I said as I came around the corner, and my mother turned, a confused expression on her face. I smiled reassuringly at her. “Hello, Liz, I’m Maggie.”
She furrowed her brow. Her hair was in disarray today. She must have been running her hand through it worriedly.
“Do I know you?” she asked in a small voice, so different than her usual tone.
“Yes, you do. You live here with me,” I told her as I smiled gently toward her. “Come on in, and I’ll get you something to drink while you sit in the living room and see if you remember anything.”
My mother held her purse tightly to her chest as she passed me. Her head twisted back and forth as she took in everything on her way to the living room.
“How long has she been like this?”
“They said she was confused before lunch today. This afternoon she didn’t want to do much, just sat around watching everyone.”
It was going to be one of those nights. “Thank you, Monica. I appreciate it. You have a good night.”
“You too, Maggie.”
I saw her out and then went to find my mother. She stood in front of the fireplace staring at a picture of her, my dad, and me. If I had a dollar for every time that I found her staring at that photograph, I’d be able to afford a private nurse to watch over her.
