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Chapter Twenty-Seven
Harvey
Ihad turned the show on, then turned it off, then turned it back on again. I walked out of the room, returned, went to get a beer, sat down, stood back up, and then left my beer on the table, grabbed my keys and my phone, and walked out the door.
I couldn’t watch it. Part of me wanted to. The sick part of me wanted to replay the whole thing. Maybe I could evaluate everything I did and see where I screwed up? Perhaps I could understand why she chose the way she did. I could see what she saw in Blake, see the connection the two of them had.
And then there was the other part of me that said who the fuck cared. It wasn’t my problem. Ali wasn’t someone that I wanted in my life if she could cheat on a man she had only been with for a few weeks.
I drove down to the local tavern and grabbed a stool at the end of the crowded bar. I was about halfway through my beer when a woman tapped me on the shoulder. I turned to see her looking excited but nervous. “Are you him?”
“Am I him?” I asked as I laughed. “Who do you think I am?”
She pointed to the television behind me in the corner, where Ali and I were about to dance the second dance. Holy shit!
“No,” I muttered as I spun back around, and she put her hand on my arm.
“It is you.”
I closed my eyes to keep myself calm and not lash out. “Yeah, so it’s me.”
Why I hadn’t heard it before, I don’t know, but now—even over the din of the tavern—I could hear Tarin talking and myself answering right before I went on.
I couldn’t help myself, I shifted in my seat and stared up at the television. The music started, and I watched it, slightly breathlessly, as our dance began. I felt like I was having an out-of-body experience as I watched our bodies move and remembered the feel of her body, the heat of the light, the volume of the music.
I was more mesmerized now as I watched Ali than I had been that night. I had kissed that woman, held her in my arms. I’d had her body under mine—naked. I had tasted her sweetness, heard her scream from pleasure—my name on her lips as she shattered. I could have had her completely, but I had walked away. Was that smart or stupid?
People clapped for me, and all around me people wanted to touch me. Why I had no clue, but they did. I was in awe of the kiss on the screen, and I couldn’t believe they kept the part where I stood there staring after her. What a lovestruck fool I looked like.
My after-dance interview just added flame to the fire, and I hoped that the guys that I worked with were not watching this. Damn, I could imagine what they would all say.
Then I watched Ali after she came off the floor. She looked just as shocked as I had by our dance—by our kiss. I should have felt vindicated, but I didn’t because I knew that I lost.
I wanted to turn away, not watch anymore, but I couldn’t help myself. I had to see how Ali and Blake danced. I needed to know what safe looked like.
So I had them refill my beer and add a shot to it. Then I sat there and watched Ali and Blake dance. They were striking as a couple, so different, but still beautiful to watch. They did look good together, not as good as we did—at least in my opinion—but who cared what I thought.
When they were done, several people were watching me, and the lady who had gathered my attention in the first place stepped closer, lowering her voice. “She didn’t pick you, did she?”
“What makes you say that?”
“Because you’re here, and not with her. I have a feeling that if she had picked you, the two of you would have weathered any storm to make it work.”
I stared at her. “What makes you think that?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s just the way you two look at one another. Like the other person is everything to you—or could be. Like you would move heaven and earth to be there for them. That other guy, yeah, maybe he could make her happy, but not forever.”
I laughed. “Yeah, well, you’re right. Ali didn’t pick me. I came here to get away from this so that I didn’t have to watch it.”
“Well, I think it’s better that you watch it, and afterward, I’m sure you can have your pick of women here in the bar.” She waved a hand around, and I scanned the area, noting several women who were watching me.
I turned back around as they returned from commercial and did a few interviews with us. Again, I didn’t want to watch, but I got pulled in by the excitement of the crowd. The woman beside me, who introduced herself as Carol, grabbed the stool next to me, and we chatted during commercials. She was nice, but not my type, and I was glad that she wasn’t trying to flirt with me. She seemed to be more interested in friendship, and I was okay with that.
When it came time for Ali to meet up with her choice, I tensed. Damn, I did not want to watch this, but I was not able to look away. As I received the card that thanked me but said sorry, there was a ton of boos in the group from everyone around me, and I found myself laughing.
I watched her meeting Blake and a few minutes of chat before they walked off into the park. Well, that was it. She had made her choice. I turned back to the bar, and Carol punched my arm. “You have to watch the update. Maybe they broke up.”
“No, they didn’t.”
