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“Yep, that long.” I peered at Faith and smiled. “I can even tell you a few stories about your mom.”
Luke grinned. “I want to hear those!”
Was it odd that he didn’t want to hear stories about his father? Maybe his death was too painful to think about.
Chapter Five
Faith
Iwasn’t sure why I was nervous about Peter coming to dinner, but I was. Maybe it was due to my embarrassment over my current financial situation. Or perhaps it was because I didn’t want Peter to ask about my relationship with Jeremy. It could be either of those, but I had a feeling it was another reason altogether.
Over the years, I had thought of Peter often. Especially as my marriage turned to shit. Ironically, I’d wondered several times if my life would have been better if I’d dated Peter rather than Jeremy. When Jeremy had first asked me out in ninth grade, I’d said yes. Not because I was interested in Jeremy, but rather I’d been hoping to make Peter jealous. I never expected my relationship to grow with Jeremy, and when Peter didn’t seem the least bit bothered by my dating his best friend, I gave up on him.
Until a night in college, when I had been drunk, and so was Peter. Jeremy had already passed out, and Peter and I had been curled on the couch side by side, watching a stupid movie and laughing our asses off. Somehow, I had ended up in his lap, and the two of us had kissed. I had felt that kiss all the way to my toes and absently wondered why Jeremy’s kisses didn’t feel that way. Our kiss took on a life of its own, and the two of us were practically naked on the couch when I suddenly had to pee and pulled my t-shirt back on.
In the bathroom, I’d paused and wondered what I was doing. Jeremy would be pissed if he found out about this, and I knew that as much as I wished it could continue, it couldn’t. I stepped out of the bathroom, intent on telling Peter it wasn’t going to happen. Only I didn’t need to. He was passed out on the couch when I stepped back into the room. I quickly grabbed my bra off the floor and my shoes and slipped out the door.
The next day when I spoke to Jeremy, he didn’t mention it, and later that week, when I saw Peter, he acted like it hadn’t happened. I assumed that he was too drunk to remember and chalked it up as a missed fantasy.
Over the last two years, I had thought about that quite often, and on those long lonely nights where I couldn’t sleep, I’d fantasized about what might have been.
The knock at the door startled me, and since I knew it was Peter, I didn’t give Luke a hard time about opening the door. I made myself busy as I tried to put the memories back into the closet in my mind, but it was hard with him standing so near and touching me. Would his lips make my body tingle again, or had that been the alcohol? I had sometimes wondered if I had felt so much in the kiss because it had been forbidden. It wouldn’t be now; would it feel the same?
Not that Peter was even a little interested in me. Or maybe he was. When he hugged me and then stood back staring at me, was I reading what was in his eyes correctly?
Thankfully, I didn’t have to carry on too much conversation over dinner because Luke controlled that. Peter listened, laughed, and winked at me once in a while while I watched him covertly.
When I mentioned that Jeremy and Peter had been friends, I had hoped it would make Luke happy, but not so much. His father had hurt him, and as much as I wished he would forget that, he didn’t.
Peter told Luke that he would search his memory banks for some good stories to share with him, and Luke’s good mood returned. After dinner, he disappeared into the living room to watch one of his favorite programs while we cleaned the kitchen.
My nerves were no longer jangled, and Peter filled me in on some of our friends who were still in the area as we cleaned up. By the time we finished, I had realized that I felt more at ease with Peter than I had with Jeremy in the last two years of our marriage.
Peter and I were on our second glass of wine, and it was going down a little too easy. It was also making me laugh more, and once, I turned to find him right behind me. Peter cupped my cheek. “God, I love the sound of your laugh. I don’t think I have ever heard another woman laugh the way you do, Faith.”
My heart sighed, and my body drifted closer to his without thought. His hand shifted from my cheek, and he curled his fingers around my neck as he leaned forward. I warred with myself. I wanted to see what it would feel like, and yet, I worried that it would destroy the fantasy that I had lived off for years.
“Mom!” Luke yelled, and I jumped out of Peter’s grasp. “Can I have some cookies before bed?”
“Um,” I turned away from Peter quickly. “Yes, hold on.” I went to get the cookies, my hand shaking as I dug into the package.
“Why don’t you let me take these out to him?” Peter said softly from beside me.
“Oh, okay,” I said and pushed the bowl toward him without looking in his direction.
“Faith,” Peter said softly. “Look at me.”
I swallowed and turned toward him. The desire that I had seen in his eyes a moment ago was still there, and his voice was husky, “We will take that back up from where we left off once he is in bed.”
My brows jumped, and he stared hard at me for one more moment before walking out of the room. My knees felt weak. Did I want to kiss Peter?
Oh, God, yes! I glanced at the clock; another hour before Luke would be off to bed. After I finished the kitchen, I wandered into the living room to see Peter sitting on the couch, Luke leaning beside him like they were best buddies, and both of them glued to the television.
I sank into a chair, watching them from the corner of my eye. Luke had never been close to his father, and seeing him beside Peter now made me wonder again what my life could have been like if I had said no to Jeremy all those years ago.
I remained quiet, keeping an eye on them, the show, and thoughts running rampant in my mind. I looked at the clock a dozen times and had to force myself not to burst out of my chair and race Luke to bed when his show ended.
As it ended up, he took his time getting ready and then asked Peter to read him a story. I almost groaned out loud and opened my mouth to tell Luke no, but Peter stepped forward and said he’d love to. I kissed Luke good night and then turned off the light.
