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“When she finally confirmed that she was seeing another man, I told her I wanted a divorce. I wasn’t going to hold her back from having the life that she wanted—even though it hurt. I guess once we grew further apart, I realized that it wasn’t going to work, and I don’t think I loved her as much as I thought I did. In fact, I know I didn’t.”
“If you didn’t love her that much, why have you not dated other women?”
“Who said I didn’t?”
“Oh, I guess I just assumed.”
“I have dated a few women, but I wasn’t interested in them.”
“Why not?”
“Most of them went on and on about how hard it must be to be a single father. I didn’t want their pity, and I am pretty capable of taking care of my kids.”
“You are a good father, Brad.” She sighed. “I guess we have something in common. Rick cheated on me too.”
I stared at her profile as she chewed a breadstick. “I’m sorry.”
“Water under the bridge now.” She furrowed her brow for a moment. “My youngest, Emmy, has ASD, Autism Spectrum Disorder. It’s not that she has autism. She’s more in line with an Asperger’s diagnosis. She can communicate pretty well, and she’s intelligent, but she’s socially awkward, and she’s very particular—like OCD on steroids particular. Hence the reason for the call tonight. My mother did something that put her into a tantrum.”
“How long ago was she diagnosed?”
“Almost three years ago. Teachers started noticing a pattern of behavior and her tendency to close herself off from others socially. She needed a strict routine, and she wasn’t getting it, which caused issues. Rick didn’t know how to deal with that.”
“I’m sure it was hard, but that doesn’t give him an excuse for straying on your marriage.”
She laughed slightly. “It wasn’t just that. Lauren, my oldest, was diagnosed with rheumatic heart disease two years ago. We were finally getting Emmy under control, and then Lauren was playing soccer and passed out.”
“I don’t know anything about that.”
“I didn’t either, but Lauren used to get strep throat a lot—like all the time. Sometimes it didn’t seem bad, or that she even had it, but once she got it, it caused rheumatic fever, and that damaged her heart.”
I reached for her hand. “I’m so sorry, Nolan. That has got to be difficult. Is there a way to cure her?”
“Not right now. We have to make sure her blood pressure stays normal, and Lauren undergoes routine tests to make sure her heart valves are working properly. Eventually, she might need a heart transplant, but we aren’t there yet.”
“That has to be scary for you.”
“It is, but it’s scary and stressful for her. She’s twelve. She wants to be a normal kid. She’d love nothing more than to play sports and run around with her friends, but she can’t. Sometimes I think she feels like she let me down because she can’t play soccer anymore, and she knows I love to coach it.”
“But you don’t feel like she let you down, do you?”
“No, not at all.” She stirred the pasta on her plate and then lifted her gaze to mine. “That’s why I said what I did back there on the phone about not getting involved with someone. I don’t have the time or energy to put into a relationship with someone else when I have all that to deal with. My kids are work, and I can’t ask another man to take that on.”
“Don’t you think the right man would want to take that on?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know. Their father doesn’t want to deal with it. Would you want to take on two children that weren’t yours and deal with their medical issues?”
“It depends on how I felt about their mother. I would never throw away a good thing just because two children needed medical attention.”
“But it’s not just medical attention, Brad. Emmy needs a lot of structure in her life. It’s the main reason why I didn’t bring her with me while I did this. She would not be able to deal with all the construction and change going on.”
“Then it’s a good thing that she is safe where she is so you can get it right for her.”
“She is, but god, do I miss my girls.”
“I bet you do. I can’t imagine not having my children around me all the time.”
“Yeah, that is something that pisses me off about Rick. He walked away and moved hundreds of miles away from the girls. He does a video chat with them once a week, if that. It’s like he just turned his back on their problems and didn’t want to have anything to do with them. Could you imagine doing that to your children?”
