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I nod. She’s right, I could have, but I didn’t see the point, and I didn’t want him to feel guilty. It’s my heart that didn’t listen. My heart gave itself over to him. He’s innocent in all of this.
“Let’s watch a movie.”
“Don’t you have to get home?”
“Nah, we’re good. Get something pulled up, and I’ll make us some popcorn.”
She disappears into my small kitchen while I surf, looking for something to watch. My heart isn’t in it. Not when I knew he wanted me to be with him tonight. I’ll miss his touch, his strong arms wrapped around me, his kisses, and everything else about the man.
It was easy to fall in love with him.
I just hope, with time, my heart will begin to heal with this loss that is Brooks Kincaid.
CHAPTERTWENTY-THREE
Brooks
Shredded.
Empty.
Missing a vital piece of who I am.
That’s how I feel. It’s been a week since that day at my parents’ when my world exploded. When I found out she was there, it killed me to wait even five seconds to rush to see her. I waited a full fifteen minutes. I could tell something was wrong, but I didn’t want to push her. I figured she would talk to me when she was ready.
She was ready, but not for a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. She was ready to tear my world to pieces. My mind was racing with how to convince her to come to my place so I could hold her under the stars and tell her she was my entire world. At the same time, she was trying the find the right way to tell me that we were over.
I admit I could have handled it better. I should have fought for her. Fought for us. I should have told her I didn’t want to hide anymore. That I wanted to march out the back door at my parents’ house and tell all of them that she was mine. That she holds my heart in the palms of her hands.
Instead, I let my anger get the best of me and stormed off. I texted Orrin and asked him to make an excuse for me. I couldn’t go back there and face everyone. He apparently told them I got called into work, and I hate that he lied for me, but I owe him one all the same.
My phone rings, pulling me out of my thoughts. “What’s up?”
“We’re headed to Willow Tavern. We’re on our way to pick you up,” Declan tells me.
“Not interested.”
“I don’t really give a flying fuck. We’ll carry you to this Tahoe if we have to. You’re going. Mom and Dad have Blakely.”
“I’m really not good company right now,” I tell him.
“When are you ever? Orrin, Sterling, and me, we’re on our way. You’ve got about fifteen minutes to get your shit together.”
“I’ll lock the door.”
Declan laughs. “We all have keys, asshole. Get ready.” The line goes dead, and I groan, tossing my phone on the couch next to me.
I had planned to sit here and formulate a plan to win Palmer back. A week without her, and I’m miserable. Sure, we’ve gone longer without seeing one another, but I still knew she was mine. At least I always thought of her as mine. I guess she didn’t see things the way that I did, and that’s on me for not telling her. I don’t want to live with regrets, and I’ll always wonder what she would have said had I told her that I was in love with her.
Sure, I could be setting myself up for humiliation and rejection, but I could also be setting myself up with the love of my life. To me, that’s worth everything.
She’sworth everything.
Maybe a night out with my brothers will help. I can have a couple of beers and clear my head. Decision made, I rush off to the shower.
* * *
The Willow Tavern is packed for a Saturday night. I guess it’s that time of year. The temperature is dropping as we roll into the holiday season. There’s not much to do outside without freezing your ass off. It helps that Hank usually has great local bands lined up on the weekend nights.
