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Micah stepped forward and gently took a hold of my wrist. His dining room table and chairs were close by, and I reached out and steadied myself on the back of a chair. I felt nervous and embarrassed, and I could do nothing but stand there and watch as Micah gently turned my arm over. I closed my eyes as he looked down at it. I knew what he would find. There were three dark spots and a fourth that wasn't as bad as the others. I had looked at them a hundred times in the shower.
I only kept my eyes closed for a few seconds, and when I opened them Micah was looking straight at me. "Are these fingerprints?" he asked me, trying to remain calm.
I nodded, barely, and he closed his eyes for a few seconds and took a deep breath like he was the one trying to calm himself down. "Uhhhh." He sighed in a strained way that sounded like he was experiencing some sort of pain. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and his words came slowly. "I will actually hunt him down and—is this the first time this happened, Claire?"
"Yes," I said, feeling ashamed and pulling my arm away. I regretted doing it instantly, and I put my hand back in his as soon as we broke contact. Micah's fingertips were rough and callused from years of playing the guitar.
"It was the first time," I said. "And I paid him back for doing it before he left." I tilted my head and continued. "But it's over now, and I don't want to bring it up with my family. I don't want any of them to know about it."
Micah was silent for a moment as he held onto my hand. "Why did he do it?" he asked calmly.
I bit the inside of my cheek, thinking about how to answer that. I opted for the truth. "Because he was jealous."
"Of what?"
"The—you know—nothing and everything."
"What does that even mean?" he asked, looking confused.
"The guitar, I guess. He was mad that I didn't tell him about it."
"Why would you tell him about it? It's my guitar. It has nothing to do with him." He paused for a second and pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Claire. I can't believe this was about the guitar. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry," I said, hugging him back. "You didn't do anything."
I rested the side of my face on his chest and stayed there for a moment in his embrace. His arms came gently around me, holding me securely but not tightly. I wrapped my arms around his middle and held onto him firmly like he was holding onto me.
"I love you," I said. It was something we had said to each other lots of times over the years, so it came out naturally.
"I love you, too, Claire. I really do."
Chapter 10
During the course of the night, I started to experience feelings for Micah. It was as if I was meeting him for the first time. Physically, I started to notice things about him that I had never noticed before. I became aware of him when he mentioned lying in his songs, and then I felt a rush of something when he was holding my hand.
His eyes had always been the same. They were an amazing shade of blue, and I had noticed them lots of times in the past, but now it was as if I could see them for the first time. I would catch myself staring at him—not just at his eyes, but everything—his straight nose, his eyebrows, his jaw, his mouth. It felt dangerous looking at his mouth.
I had never noticed Jake's mouth. We had kissed, but we didn't kiss every time we saw each other, and I certainly never stared at his mouth while he spoke. Our relationship was slow to progress and I didn't see as much of him as I did my past boyfriends. Looking back, I hated that I didn't end things with him sooner. Sometimes I had a problem with being too nice.
The Jake situation was over. Now, I would focus on my present and future. Micah. He was invading my thoughts in a different way all night.
Ryan and his friends were the last ones at Micah's. For the last two hours of the evening, it was just them and me. They stayed in or around the pool while Micah and I sat on the patio and talked. He played songs for me on the guitar. He never sang, he only played. Both of us knew that if he started singing, Ryan and his friends would think a concert was happening and come over to us. Micah sat with his back to them and played so quietly that none of them saw or heard what was going on.
When he wasn't playing, we talked. He was currently on tour, and he shared some of the highs and lows of being on the road. We never kissed or made physical contact, but I left his house feeling like things were different between Micah and me.
They were definitely different for me.
I needed to ask Micah how he felt.
I wondered if he was starting to have feelings for me or if I was just imagining things. But our eye contact had been extended, and I wanted to believe that he was attracted to me in that way. He walked me to my car, and we hugged when I left, but I was walking out with Ryan and the others, so we had no time alone.
I thought about him all night, though. Jake had fallen out of my mind so freely and easily that it was as if he had never been a part of my life in the first place. All I had left of him was a bruise on my arm.
It was late when I got home, and it took me a while to fall asleep. I thought a lot that night.
***
Isaac and Ari's wedding was perfect.
