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"I'll give a donation to the pot," she said.
I smiled, feeling relieved. I didn't want her money. I wasn't relieved about that. Her offering to help only meant she was okay with it happening in the first place.
I smiled and shook my head at her. "It's fine, it's my pleasure, but you can help me by not telling anyone, especially Micah."
***
Three days later, I found myself in Nashville, Tennessee.
It was showtime and suddenly I was rethinking the whole idea. I was glad to be in Nashville. I was happy to watch his show and even to have the VIP experience. But I was more nervous than I had ever been in my whole life.
I had been getting ready for two painstaking hours, and I caught sight of my reflection in a downtown building as I walked to the music venue. I realized that I looked nothing like Claire.
This was the second of two shows Micah was playing at The Ryman Auditorium in downtown Nashville. I had never been here before, but I read up on it before I came and I knew it was a historic venue where they used to host the Grand Ole Opry back in the day. It all felt historic. The building was warm and wooden and the stage was right in front of me.
I had been second-guessing my fake nose, but there was no way I could have sat in here and enjoyed the show without it. The house lights were on, the stage was right in front of me, and I knew Micah would be able to see me the second he came out there.
As it stood, I pretended to be Sue.
That was the name I had given my character when I looked in the mirror. I found that, as Sue, I was able to relax and get ready for the show.
My nerves were on edge. The show started at eight, but Micah didn't come on until later.
Finally, he came onto the stage. He stood at the microphone with his guitar, the black one called Josephine. I watched the first song in awe, and then he went on, playing song after song—switching guitars and saying some words or telling a story intermittently. Some of the songs had more band members and production, and some of them were stripped down. All of them were amazing, though. Micah was talented and he had worked hard to make the show beautiful and entertaining.
I was bursting with pride, and several times, it took extreme concentration to keep from crying. I knew all of his songs by heart, but I didn't let myself sing along or get into it too much.
I acted how Sue would act—calm and neutral, unimpressed. I even sat with a different posture. I sat there and watched him with a straight face and it was all I could do to keep from smiling and crying and getting emotional the whole time. Concentrating on being Sue helped me cope with the waves of happiness and pride I felt while watching Micah perform.
He had about ten guitars on stage, and he changed to the Fender with the Martin headstock. I had been seeing it on the stand during the whole show. The performance was almost over when he spoke into the microphone again. His hair was just barely long enough to tuck behind his ear, and he did that as he approached the microphone.
"I don't know if any of you can see it, but this guitar that I'm holding is two different name brands. It was broken. Two completely different instruments have been spliced together to create this one."
"What happened to it?" someone from the audience yelled.
"What happened? Well, it got run over by a car and the headstock was shattered beyond repair. But just like I'm using this guitar right now all these years later, so too does God find a use for broken things."
Micah paused and played the guitar, and everyone yelled. The tune he played was familiar and lovely.
"Anyway, I was up here thinking about all that because I'm about to play an old gospel standard calledI'll Fly Away, do any of y'all know that song?"
The crowd cheered.
"I knew you would. This is Nashville, after all. I sang it last night, and the audience sang along. They sounded amazing. I think it was the best audience participation we've ever had." He looked back at the band, who all nodded.
Micah didn’t do anything halfway. He wouldn't have sung the gospel tune if he didn't love it. As he played, it became obvious that he had practiced it a thousand times. He was so natural about singing it that it was as if the song was part of him. I didn't know all the lyrics to the song, so I just listened to Micah sing. I had to distract myself with technical thoughts of Sue and what I must look like from the stage. I did my best to keep from reacting as I watched Micah and held onto his every word. Tears filled my eyes, but I discreetly wiped them at just the right time to keep them from spilling over.
Micah announced that he had one more song, and someone who was working production dropped the lights and the beat for About to Fall. This was the gigantic hit everyone had been expecting him to play. The whole place had responded to the rest of his music, but they went crazy for this song.
He played and sang it, and the audience sang along so loudly that Micah smiled and reacted to the sound. I watched in awe as he flawlessly performed that song, exceeding everyone's expectations with his charm and his stage presence.
He left the stage after that and everyone cheered for an encore, yelling for him to play his first hit. We stood and clapped. Just about everyone in the room was yelling for, "Madeline!"
Micah was offstage and couldn’t see me, so I finally let loose and yelled for him. "Whooo Micahhh!" I yelled at the top of my lungs, since he was gone. "Madeline!" I added, clapping and getting into it with everyone else.
Just after I yelled, Micah came back on stage, and I simmered down instantly and became Sue again. It was difficult to remain calm on the outside, though, when my insides were reeling with excitement. The concert was almost over, and I knew I would soon be next to him.
I could see every move he made. I could see his mouth as it moved when he spoke and sang. His smile was irresistible and the way he carried himself was so relaxed and confident.
