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"So, you're calling me to tell me you like someone else right now?" he asked. His voice was rigid sounding.
"No. I-I don't even-haven't ever even met the guy. I was just asking… I was curious if you thought we were to the point of… did we want us to not go on any dates with anyone but us?"
"If you're asking my permission to date some other guy, Jordan, the answer is no. Is that what you were asking?" His tone was disbelieving and serious and my heart was pounding.
"Kind of, I guess, because I was just… I like you, and I wasn't sure if you liked me, but I like you, and I definitely didn't need to go out with anyone, but if you didn't think you ever wanted to do that with me, then I wanted to… you know… run it past you or whatever. Just to make sure."
Was that in English?
I had opened my mouth and I was pretty sure that a bunch of gibberish came out. I made myself stop talking, and I just sat there with JD on the other end. I could hear him take a deep breath.
"Where are you, Jordan?"
"I’m at my apartment. I have to go back to work in a few minutes. I'm just here for a minute. JD, listen, I know I'm not making a whole lot of sense. I'm not trying to pressure you into anything. I don't need to hear that you want to start going out with me right now, I just was wondering if maybe one day you thought we would—"
"Do you not know that I like you?" he asked.
"As a friend?" I asked.
"No, Jordan. Not as a friend."
"No, then, I didn't know you like me as not a friend. I thought you like me as a friend."
"You must be kidding me."
"No."
"Did you think we hang out every day and check-in with each other and I didn't… like… you… Jordan?" His question was serious, and I sat there with my heart pounding, trying to figure out how to answer it.
"I thought you might like me as a friend since you never try to…"
"Since I never try to what?"
I paused for a few seconds. "To kiss me," I said even though it sounded cheesy to my own ears.
"I-I was giving you… time, Jordan. I thought you didn't like me very much at first, and I didn't want to rush you."
"Oh, I definitely don't feel rushed at all," I said. "I just keep waiting and waiting, thinking it'll happen." I had to say the words quickly because otherwise, I would have chickened out.
"Thinkingwhatwill happen?" he asked.
"That you'll kiss me, " I said. "Sometimes we'll be talking, and you'll look at me, and I'm sure you're about to."
"I am about to all those times," he said.
"Then why don't you?" I asked breathlessly.
I couldn’t believe we were having this conversation. I was so nervous that I curled up on my bed.
"Because I didn't want to just freak out and be all over you, Jordan. I want to, but I fight that. I'm trying to let you get to know me."
I was silent for a few long seconds, thinking of everything he said and everything that had happened between us since we met.
"Well, by now, I already know you plenty," I said. "I just thought you weren't that interested, or, you know, that you liked being friends better."
"Uh. No. No, I don’t."
"Okay, so, that's good to know, JD. I guess I'm not going to hang out with Rachel tonight." I said that statement tentatively, waiting to gauge his reaction.
