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Chapter 10
Grace
I could not get myself together after Alec showed me the new songs. They were exquisite—each one of them. I would have sought this music even if it hadn't been Alec who wrote and performed it. It was Alec who made it, though, and that added a whole new layer of emotions to the mix.
First, I cried over the songs themselves. I was touched by the heartfelt lyrics and the beautiful melodies. They were love songs to God, and I adored the sound of them. I wanted to memorize them and sing along. Some of them were natural enough that I already knew the chorus and was singing along by the time it finished playing the first time.
I was floored. I was so grateful that it manifested in the form of tears. Alec had an amazing gift and it was being used to its fullest, and I cried because of it. It was a beautiful sound. I would stop crying, and then another set of lyrics would hit me.
I had to turn it off to get myself together to teach the first aid class, and even then, three different people asked me if I was okay and I had to explain that I had been crying from happiness right before I went there.
I taught the class on autopilot. I was there, and I said all the right things, gave demonstrations, and asked questions, but I was thinking about Alec and the music the whole time.
I went home after the class and watched the videos again. I watched them this time instead of just listening to the music and barely peeking at them.
Alec was officially my dream man.
I was starstruck and so very smitten.
My chest and gut ached with need and desire.
Was it possible to have butterflies so intensely it made you nauseous?
I wanted this man.
More than ever, I wanted him.
I felt compelled to marry him and have him be a father to my children. There was nothing so attractive as a man with a heart for the Lord. I didn't know that was the case until now. I had intentionally steered away from hearing his singing voice because I knew this would happen. I knew I would fall desperately in love.
Love hit me over the head like a hammer that day. I heard Alec's voice, and I heard it loud and clear. My heart heard his music.
He was already the most appealing man alive when he was playing rock music, but this new stuff hit me differently. I wanted everything with Alec, but now I almost didn't feel worthy of such a partner in life. Alec Abramson was already doing so much with his life, and now he was drawing close to God.
The God thing attracted me to him in a way that baffled me, honestly. I saw Alec as being highly intelligent for choosing to acknowledge the Kingdom of Heaven. My heart already belonged to him, but this made me want to throw myself at him and beg him to take me.
I spoke to Alec that night, and I decided not to tell him how I felt. I told him I loved the songs, but not how much I loved him. I wanted to save it until we saw each other face-to-face. By that time, I would have had time to calm down and I could refrain from sounding as desperate as I felt at that moment.
I had to remember that we'd been going slowly for eight or nine months and it might be weird for him if I started acting differently because of the new songs. I did tell Alec how much I loved the music, but I didn't freak out about it like I wanted to.
I headed to Galveston the following morning, and by that time, I listened to his songs at least three times each. And, as if I needed more encouragement, I listened to some of Split Decision's music as well.
Alec and his twin were international heartthrobs. Their band was currently number eighty-two on Spotify, and it had been over a year since they released an album. We had to plan our encounters around the likely event that Alec would have pictures taken of him—either by paparazzi or by fans.
Today, we would be left alone. We would hang out at his house, which had private waterfront property. Alec lived on a gated road and he had a security guard who lived on his property as well.
It was June, and the weather had been beautiful. I couldn't wait to dip my toes in the water at the end of his dock. It had only been a few days since I saw Alec, but this time, as a result of the music, it was almost impossible to wait. I felt antsy and so ready to be next to him.
I was currently on a road that was only a short distance from his house, so I would be seeing him in just a couple of minutes. It was a long, deserted road that wound along the shore of Sweetwater Lake, which was on the bay side of the island. I loved his property and I was looking forward to a day of relaxing.
As I rounded a curve, I saw a woman standing on the side of the road next to a small car. The car's hood was up, and she waved at me like she needed me to stop. I felt bad for her. She was obviously having car trouble, and that was something I had been through before.
When I was in high school, I drove a 1994 Ford Escort that broke down all the time. This woman's car didn't appear to be old, but she was a young woman, and I felt for her. She came out into the road and waved me down with a pitiful expression, and I couldn't stand it.
I pulled to the side of the road and parked in front of her, and she walked directly to my driver's side door. I rolled down my window. She was wearing sunglasses, but I could tell she was about my age, and gorgeous.
"Hey, I’m broke down," she said. "I need gas. I am miles from my house, and I have no gas in my car and no battery in my phone. Could you do me a huge favor and take me right up the street to get gas? I'd really appreciate it."
She spoke so quickly that I nodded without even thinking about it. "Yeah, that or I can let you use my phone," I said.
