AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"I'm glad we're not letting anyone else in on the fake boyfriend stuff," he said. "AJ's already suspicious. That’s why he wanted me to carry you into the pool."
"Yeah, we definitely shouldn't let on," I said. I let my hand drift into his, and he grabbed it, holding onto me. He was holding my hand under the water, and he drifted near me casually as if it were not happening at all. We had shared several moments this weekend, but never had he just unabashedly held my hand, and certainly not with his family right there. He laced his fingers between mine, and I could not breathe. My heart felt full, and I was so happy that I could not hold back a smile.
"I've never jumped into a pool on anyone's back," I said, trying to explain my grin.
"It was my pleasure to give you a ride to the pool, my lady," he said it in a silly tone, and I laughed.
We swam toward the others and eventually lost contact, but we held hands under the water several times that night when we could get away with it without being seen. We talked and hung out for a while. We weren't in the pool the whole time we were outside, but we stayed in there quite a bit. Everyone knew it was Beau and AJ's last night, so we stayed up late on purpose.
It was midnight and we were dry and all sitting around the living room when Charlie asked, "What time is your flight in the morning?"
"We have to be at the airport at six," Beau said.
"Six?" Charlie asked, sounding shocked. "Even if you go to sleep now, you're only getting about four hours."
"I know, we need to go to bed," AJ said, standing up.
We all stood up behind him and said goodnight to each other as a group. We hugged and told the guys we would miss them but that we hoped they had fun in Japan.
I was on the outskirts of it all with Ralphie because I wasn't family and technically had less of a right to miss them. Ralphie and I hung back and casually told everyone goodnight, and then AJ and Beau went one way while I went the other. It was a heartbreaking way for me to say goodnight to Beau, and it felt surreal that he would be gone when I woke up in the morning.
I couldn't let it end like this. I felt hot tears well in my eyes. Writing him a note was something I had already thought of doing, and I went straight to action. Our last day and night together had only solidified my feelings.
I began writing quickly in pencil, erasing and rewording when something didn't come out right.
Beau,
I said goodbye to you just now, and it didn't feel like enough. There were some things I had thought about, and I didn't get to tell them to you before you left. First of all, I'm changing. My mind is changing. I find myself wanting to choose trust over fear. I find myself wanting to feel love. Secondly, I was thinking about you, and I wondered if the woman you were looking for was someone who isn't necessarily perfect or timid, but someone who seeks God. I thought about it, and I think maybe that's what it boils down to for you. Anyway, if that's the truth, I just wanted you to know that it's something I want in my life. I want to be someone who seeks God. I'm not perfect, but I want to choose a happy, solid path for my life, and I just wanted you to know that. And if you were still looking to find someone when you get back to Chicago, I wouldn't be a terrible choice. Just food for thought. Have fun in Japan and eat some sushi for me!
Holland
I felt like this was basically what I wanted to say, and I folded the piece of paper. I had small envelopes for my business, and I slid the note into one of them and wrote his name on the outside of it. I was so determined to make this happen that I worked quickly. I wrote and edited the note before copying it in my best handwriting, and the whole thing only took me ten minutes.
I instantly headed through the house toward Beau's bedroom. My plan was to slip the envelope under his door, but when I got there, his door was wide open. His room was dimly lit by a lamp that was sitting next to his bed. His bag was sitting on the dresser in a packed, open position. It made me sad when I glanced at it, but then I realized it was exactly what I wanted. Beau was in his bathroom with the door closed, and I saw the opportunity to put the note in his bag.
I wanted him to open it once he was away from me. I had already thought about this. That would give him time to think about it with no pressure on either of us. If he wanted to seek me out afterward he could. So, without further consideration, I tucked the note into a crevice in his luggage. I slipped it gently between a pair of pants and the backside of his bag. I picked that place because it was the most obvious but hidden place I could find in the split second I gave myself to hide it.
I barely had time to slide it in there and take a step back when I heard the bathroom door open. I was nervous, and the sound and light caused me to jump and gasp.
"Heyyy," Beau said as soon as he saw me.
"Hey. I'm, I was trying to tell you goodnight again. I know we already said it, but…"
"But it wasn't quite good enough, was it?"
I shook my head, but I had no time to otherwise respond because he reached out and took me into his arms. We stood there and hugged tightly, and I felt the oddest mix of emotions.
"Where's Ralph?"
"He's in my room. I was trying to sneak in here and not get caught. I didn't know if anyone else was still up."
I held onto him unapologetically, my arms wrapped around his middle. I was still a little shaken from almost getting caught with the note, and my whole body was alive with excitement and desire now that I was finally in his arms. He pulled back and I glanced up at him. Our eyes met, and he stared at me for a long time—what must have been twenty uninterrupted seconds.
"I don't know what to say right now," he said finally.
"You don't have to say anything, Beau. We're both tired, and you have to be up in a few hours. I just didn't want you to leave without—"
"Believe me, I wasn't going to bed without telling you goodnight again," he said. "I was about to head to your room as soon as I got out of the shower."
