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But now I don't need to stay busy to pass the time.
Now I have Elena.
We spend nearly every moment together, even if some of those moments are silent. Whatever she wants to do is what we do. If she feels like reading, we go to the library and we read.
Well, she reads while I pretend to read and surreptitiously watch her over the top of a book I'm not reading.
I watch all the emotions flit across her face as she gets lost in the pages of a book. Her face is like an open book, and it's the only one I'll ever want to read for the rest of my life.
She's opened herself up to me. She talks to me now, and it’s more than just curt answers to questions I ask. She tells me things I already knew about her past, but it's so different coming from her and getting her unique narrative.
Elena might be a human, but I sense the same lonely spirit within her I have as a vampire.
She's never had anyone to look out for her, what with her being orphaned at such a young age. She's able to get along well enough in a crowd, but she doesn't have any particularly close friends.
It saddens my heart to know that one so young had to worry about survival the way she did.
Never again, I vow to myself. I will take care of her from now on. It will be my pleasure to do so. Anything she expresses even a minor interest in, I get for her. I bought her a paint set so she could try her hand at it.
For someone who's never dabbled in it before, she's quite good. I'm probably a little biased, but I'm also an art aficionado. I definitely think my little angel has potential in that department.
We go on walks throughout my many gardens. Elena favors the rose garden, as do I.
So, I make sure she wakes up to a fresh bouquet of them by her bedside every morning. I see the soft smile when she wakes up and looks to her right to see if they're there. I handpick them for her myself, making sure to only carefully select the choicest blooms.
Only the best for my little angel.
And perhaps best of all is the way she lets me touch her.
For someone who once thought he couldn't bear to touch her, now I can't keep my hands off her. True, it's still difficult for me to rein myself in and not take her fully. I want so much to make her mine in every sense of the word.
Yet it’s like anything else, I suppose. Practice makes perfect.
Now I can feel the soft skin of her cheek, grasp her tiny hand in mine, and drink from the sweet nectar of her lips anytime I wish.
She never denies me. On the contrary, she submits to me, melting into me so sweetly.
There's nothing on this earth I’ve ever enjoyed more than watching her fall apart in my arms. I eat her pretty pussy every day and delve into her heat with my fingers, careful not to breach the barrier of her innocence. From my understanding, it doesn't matter whether I break her hymen with my fingers or cock, if I compromise her innocence in any way, it could begin the process of her change, and then if I don't bite her, the change won't complete and she'll die.
And my heart can't bear that. I can't bear the thought of a world without her.
I'm already questioning how I've existed this long without her. Now that I have her, I can't imagine being without her.
Still, guilt pricks at the back of my mind. I realize it's not fair for me to condemn her to a half life where she’s sequestered away from the world and must remain a virgin for fear that I can't control myself.
But I'm too selfish to let her go. I become too tortured when I think of letting another man have her.
I can't do it.
My Elena, sweet girl that she is, doesn't push for more. She contents herself with what I give her. She smiles that genuine smile at me. It warms me from the inside out. I might be a completely damned creature, but I don't give a shit. Having Elena here with me, giving me her willing smile, shining her beautiful light on me, is closer to Heaven than I ever dreamt I would get.
And if she can so easily content herself with our arrangement, then so can I. As much as every fiber of my dead body screams at me to take her virginity, I will resist for Elena's sake.
A wry smile tips my lips as I walk to the bedroom we share. Although I don't sleep, I lay beside Elena all night, cradling her in my arms and watching her as she does.
It's very rare that we spend any moments apart now, but I try not to crowd her. I give her as much space as I can bear.
But it's been about an hour now—too long since I’ve seen her. I need my fix.
