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“Don’t be sorry,” she said kindly. “But if you want to talk about it, I’m here.”
“You’re a better friend than I deserve, Floss.”
“Why?” she laughed. “Because you’re a Saint and they’re all mean and bossy and stuck up?”
I smiled despite myself. “Something like that.”
The truth was, I had it in me. I had it in me to be mean and bossy and stuck up. Inside, I was snobby and judgemental. I enjoyed the finer things in life. I liked that I was born into privilege and all that gave me. I knew I was lucky, but at the same time I’d been brought up to believe it was my right.
I wasn’t perfect. Not really. But Florence didn’t expect me to be. She loved me for me, and that was something I knew I had to be worthy of.
As I looked at her, I opened my mouth, took a breath, and closed it again.
She smiled. “Come on, you’ve been in a mood since your birthday. And I know it’s not just that precious metal weighing down your hand.”
I dropped my pen entirely and swivelled my chair to face her.
“I’m going to marry Apollo, right?” I asked and she nodded.
“Right...” she said slowly, obviously waiting to see where I went with this.
“I hate who he’s become, but I have to marry him.”
“Unless we find you a way out.”
I nodded and didn’t correct her. “Unless we find me a way out.”
“That’s my understanding, yes. Why? Has something happened?”
I frowned as I tried to work out the answer to that. “I don’t know...” I said slowly while I still got my head around it. “Maybe...”
“Eek!” Florence spun so quickly that she went too far and did a full rotation and a half before stopping to face me. “Did he finally kiss you?”
I shook my head. “Not with Apollo. If something happened, it wasn’t with Apollo.”
“Yes!” She threw her hands in the air and spun around quickly.
“You don’t even know what happened,” I laughed.
She pointed at me as the chair came back around again. “No, but if it didn’t happen with Apollo, then it happened with–”
“Don’t say it!” I interrupted, my hand reaching for her like I’d actually do something to shut her up. “Don’t say it.”
It wasn’t like anyone was going to hear us, but I wasn’t going to risk it.
“But I’m right? With...?” She waggled her eyebrows and kicked her head in the vaguest direction of the boys’ dorm.
“Ifanything did happen, and I’m still not sure it did, then yes.”
“Tell me what happened. If anyone knows whether something issomething, it’s me.”
I had to give her that one. I’d never be so shaming as to call my best friend a slut, but she’d affectionately awarded herself the title on a few drunken occasions.
“Okay, so he was walking me back after my date with Apollo...”
Florence rolled her eyes. “Becausehehad to run off and fuck one of his Magdalens.” I then watched her eyes narrow in thought.
“What?”
