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I felt like I had half the pieces in the jigsaw in place and I could almost see the others, but they were just out of reach. Like deep down I knew what she meant, but the full reality was just beyond my twelve-year-old understanding.
“Is this like the way you and Mummy have to look nice and smile even when you don’t mean it, and have all those fancy parties?” I asked carefully.
A sliver of relief passed over Frenella’s face. “Yes, Harlow. Just like that. The men have their business, the women...well, we have our roles to play as much as they do. Part of Apollo’s role is power. He is the heir to the Callahan name and as such he’s expected to achieve certain...status.”
I still didn’t really understand.
“Everything’s going to change now,” she said, but she said it like it was a bad thing. “Apollo has...duties. Duties his father will not let him back down from. Our world...” She sighed and I saw the love for her only child deep in her eyes. “Our world doesn’t look kindly on what it deems soft. So, you, me and your mum? We walk the walk, and we talk the talk, and we look the other way when we see too much.” She brushed my hair from my face. “We leave the men to maintain the fragile status quo because one wrong move... One wrong move and the people we love could die.”
I searched her eyes, hoping this was all some kind of sick joke. People’s lives weren’t like this. But then, it explained so much. So many half-seen or half-heard truths, feelings that the world I’d been born into wasn’t like everyone else’s.
“Apollo could die?” I breathed, my heart thudding painfully.
“This is why God has his Angels,” Frenella said, almost like it was a mantra.
I shook my head. “I don’t know what that means.”
She hugged me tight. “You will. Sooner than you want.”
I pulled away from her. “Why did no one ever tell me this before? Why did they keep me so...so...?” I didn’t yet have a word for what I was. Later in life, I knew that one conversation made only a very small dent in my naive ignorance.
“Because I shouldn’t have. It’s not a woman’s place to worry about the business of men. We look the other way, we pretend all is well, and we suffer in silence, knowing each of us is doing the same. But I see you love Apollo and I fear for him. He’s my only child. I fear he will lose himself without you.”
That felt like an awful lot to put on the shoulders of one so young. What did Archer expect of Apollo to put that much fear in Frenella?
My heart pounded hard. I needed to see him. To make sure he was okay. I pulled from her grasp and ran back to the hall. Archer’s door was firmly shut, and I knew what sort of reception I’d get if I barged in there. Archer had never even threatened to raise a hand to me, but I was scared he would if I dared enter his office now.
All I could do was sit on the stairs, leaning on the banister rails and stare at the office door, willing it to open and Apollo to walk out unharmed. I sat on those stairs for what felt like hours, thinking myself well hidden behind the banister railings. Just as my eyes were closing from sheer boredom, I heard the tell-tale sound of Archer’s office door open.
Archer walked out with a big man, and two boys probably in their late teens. One was dark haired, and one was lighter haired, but they were obviously brothers.
“Pleasure doing business with you, Mr Callahan,” said the big man with the scar down his face. He had a thick Scottish accent.
Archer shook his hand. “The pleasure is mine, Cillian. Binding our boys is just good business. Valen will make an excellent Angel.”
As they moved towards the door, Apollo and another dark-haired boy about our age came into view, eyeing each other carefully. It was a side of Apollo I’d never seen. He looked starkly like his father, superior and disdainful. It made something in me shrivel uncomfortably.
I stood up quickly and all eyes were on me.
I finally pulled my focus from Apollo and my heart fluttered in my chest.
The dark-haired boy was...
At twelve, I didn’t really have a word for it. Five years later, I still wouldn’t really have a word for it, but he still managed to make my heart flutter uncontrollably.
His eyes bored into me, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. Unlike the boy beside him, he looked rougher. There was a cut on his cheek, and he had… He had a tattoo on his arm, peeking out from his pushed-up sleeve. At the time, I naively thought it was one of those temporary ones. I’d soon learn that lesson.
“Harlow,” Archer barked, and my eyes flew to him. “What are you doing?”
I swallowed hard, but my reply was distracted by the light-haired teen. The way he was looking at me. It didn’t give me butterflies. It gave me chills. Fear crawled along my arms and made me wrap my arms around myself.
“Harlow!” Archer barked again.
I licked my lip and forced my eyes back to him, but I felt the other teen’s eyes still on me.
“I… I’m sorry, Archer. I…” I didn’t know what to say.
“Why don’t you go and have tea with the other women?” Apollo said and I recoiled at the tone of his voice.
