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So many questions and no answers.
And I’d keep getting no answers if I just lay in bed all day and avoided my problems.
I got dressed and told myself to buck the fuck up. I was newly engaged to a man I loved. I should be happy.
Right?
But I wasn’t.
I was back to ‘fake it until I made it’ mode and I wasn’t sure why.
I kept seeing Valen’s face, choking on his mince pie, with Apollo on his knee in front of me. I kept thinking it meant something. I kept wishing it meant something, but it couldn’t mean anything. This was where my life was always heading and…
No amount of wishing could make it otherwise.
No amount of wishing, love.
I sighed as I pulled open my bedroom door and forced a smile, ready for the first person I saw. My eyes slid to Valen’s door down the hall, firmly closed with no way of knowing if he was on the other side or not. I made my feet take me in the opposite direction, reminding myself Mrs Callahan was the endgame. And here we were.
Hooray.
“Here comes the bride!” I heard Frenella coo and my mum’s laughter.
I took a breath and widened my smile for them. “Good morning,” I said happily as I dropped into my chair at the breakfast table with them.
Fake it until you make it.
“Good morning,” Mum said.
“Where are the boys?” I asked, looking around.
“Nursing a bit of a hangover,” Mum offered, sharing a knowing smile with Frenella.
“Yes,” she agreed. “Archer insisted on opening some terribly rare brandy last night in celebration and none of them went to bed until they’d gone through two bottles and couldn’t see through the cigar smoke anymore.” Her words suggested she disapproved. Her tone suggested she was amused.
I nodded. “Fair enough.”
“Mrs Callahan,” came Valen’s voice from the door.
He looked like he was still deep in the hangover, but he was showered and dressed. I saw the flash of his new holsters and sheath under his clothes.
“Valen, dear,” Frenella said. “What can we do for you this morning? Bacon? A little hair of the dog?”
Valen inclined his head, as polite as I’d ever seen him. “Nay, ta,” he said, his accent thick. “My da needs me. Will ye tell Apollo and Mr Callahan for me when they’re up?”
Frenella nodded. “Of course, dear. You’ll be gone all week?” she asked, and he nodded, but it looked placating rather than agreeing. “Apollo will be terribly upset if you miss the party.”
He inclined his head. “Aye. I’ll try to be back. In time,” he added, as though there was a question that he’d be back at all.
Frenella’s eyes darkened as though she knew more about what Valen was off to do than she probably should. “I see. Well, you be careful, dear. The roads are icy this time of year.”
He inclined his head again. “Aye, I will. Mrs Vanguard.”
“Goodbye, Valen,” Mum said. “It was nice to see you again.”
“The pleasure was mine, ma’am. Thank ye for including me in the festivities.” He finally looked at me. “Congratulations again, Miss Vanguard.”
I swallowed hard. “Thank you, Valen.”
