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Now she’d brought it up, it sounded eerily like something I’d said to Valen. How I’d promised Apollo nothing, but Valen had promised him everything. I saw the truth in that, in theory. But that was nothing like what Valen had actually said.
“Then why not just say that?” I huffed. “Why not just tell me he’s doing it for Apollo? Why be suck a dick about it?”
“Have you met these boys?” Her eyebrow rose above her glasses frames. “They have the emotional range of a pebble.” She shrugged. “Idiot probably thought he was doing the right thing.”
It made a kind of sense. If I let myself believe that was what he’d been doing.
“I almost love him more for that,” I whispered.
“Almost?” Florence asked.
I nodded. “Almost. But anyone who’d say those things to me, even if theythoughtthey were doing the right thing, doesn’t deserve me.”
I expected cheering and agreement. But for once, Floss wasn’t immediately in my corner.
“You disagree with me?” I asked her.
She shook her head. “No. Not at all. I’m just sad it all went down this way. I kinda had my bets on Valk being worthy of you after all.”
I sighed as I leant my head against the coolness of the window. “Yeah. Me, too.”
“And what about your fiancé?”
I still hated that word – that title – for Apollo. It meant nothing. It had the power to mean a lot. It should have meant everything. But, just then, it meant nothing more than living someone else’s life on someone else’s timeline. And I hated him all over again for it.
“What about him?” I asked sullenly.
“Is he worthy of you?”
“I don’t know yet.”
“Well, why don’t you go and find out?”
“Are you suggesting I go all Khaleesi on his arse again?”
“I am suggesting…” She nodded vigorously. “Yes. Go and do that.”
I sat up, feeling a smile on my face. “Okay.”
Florence blinked. “That took less convincing than I expected. I had a whole speech planned and everything.”
I shrugged now. “There’s no point wasting my life on a guy like Valen. He had his shot. He fucked it up. We both knew it had to end sooner or later. Now I can get on with my life.”
“Do you…” she started carefully, then cleared her throat. “Doyou want to get on with your life?”
I sighed. “I can’t dwell on what might have been, Floss. I’ll go mad if I do. In another world, maybe Valen and I would have been a romance for the ages. But I was promised to Apollo long before Valen claimed me. I have to look forward if I want to survive this. Besides,” I added, “I do love Apollo.”
“As well,” she seemed to add for me.
I couldn’t help giving her a grin. “As well.”
I got up and checked myself over in the mirror. I hadn’t cried so my makeup was no worse than the usual end of the night state. I was still in my tight-fitting silver dress. One I liked; I hadn’t worn it with anyone else’s admiration in mind than my own. I was thinking about someone else’s admiration now.
“Are you not going to change?” she asked me.
I caught her eye in the reflection. “Why would I?” I replied, all sass. “I don’t plan on being in anything for long.”
“Ooo,” she crowed. “I love you.”
