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How was he supposed to talk to Sabine about all the things he couldn’t even begin to put into order in his mind?
He needed to talk to her.
She was always so…calm.
He closed his eyes and pictured her. She’d smile and her dimple would pop, and she’d duck her head and tuck her hair behind her ear even though it wasn’t loose to begin with.
And she’d make him feel less stupid.
She always treated him like he had something to say.
She never made him feel like he was too much.
But then the black wave of shame returned and pushed him further into himself.
A memory surfaced of before he’d dropped out of school. Before the binders. Before his mom had left. He was still in grade school, but he couldn’t be sure of his age.
“Can’t you just leave me alone?”his mom had yelled through her bedroom door.
Dave had chased her there again because he had too many questions. The questions never stopped. But he learned to stop asking them.
She would get overwhelmed and hide from him.
He hated that.
The hiding.
It was one of the major reasons behind his music. He loved making things that were weird and seeing other weirdos bond over their similarities.
He reached for his phone again and sighed.
This wasn’t working.
He needed to leave, maybe go for a drive.
No.
He needed to talk to her.
He had to try.
* * *
SABINE
“Is it a bad sign that I look forward to the broken cookies more than the unbroken cookies?” André asked, slathering frosting on the head of a snowman and then taking a bite.
“I am not the one to ask,” Sabine replied taking off the hot mitts and reaching for her wine. “I think we might be the broken cookies.”
He eyed her while sorting the cookies onto their respective plates. “Okay,” he said like he’d settled something in his mind. “Where’s the boy so I can kick his ass?”
She snorted even as her eyes burned and the familiar hole right through the middle of her widened just a bit more.
Yesterday, after she’d gotten home, she had been hopeful.
She’d texted Dave. She’d started with apologies. Then she’d tried to call. She left enough messages that his inbox filled up. After that, it didn’t ring through anymore.
So she’d stopped.
