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“Stop right there, Brigit,” he snapped. She pouted her lips but didn’t step back. “You didn’t catch me. No one caught me. I fucked you. That was it. You were a momentary distraction, nothing more. Once I left your bed, you left my mind. This isn’t going to happen again, so keep your motherfucking hands to yourself, leave me the fuck alone, and next time you see me coming, go the other way.”
With that, he turned right back around and hurried to the stairway, too keyed up and anxious to wait for the elevator. He’d already wasted precious time on Brigit—who didn’t deserve another millisecond of his time or thoughts. He had to get to Anna’s apartment and figure out what the fuck was going on.
He reached the seventh floor, his chest heaving, his lungs burning, his legs shaking. He was in excellent shape, but his heart had already been jack hammering in his chest when he’d arrived at the building. Striding down the hallway, he stopped just outside Anna’s door. Raising his fist to pound on it, he halted mid-swing.
Gripping the back of his neck, he squeezed until he felt light-headed then released. Closing his eyes, he took a deep, calming breath, his lungs still screaming but thankful for the oxygen. He fought the urge to press his ear against the door to listen. That wasn’t him, though. He knew he wanted to be on the other side, with Anna, pulling her into his arms and doing everything he could to make everything alright. To make her his for all time.
But there was too much work to be done, first. And barging in there still revved up from his race over here, wasn’t the best approach. He couldn’t just push his way inside. That would only make things worse. He had to think about how he was going to get Anna to listen to him, and scaring the shit out of her wasn’t a good way to start.
Blaze took another deep breath, held it, then let it out slowly. Shaking his head, he tried to clear it of the panic that had risen at AJ’s words.
The door in front of him swung open and Sally was standing there, a box of clothes under her arm and a “holy shit” expression on her face. That expression, however, morphed into a sneer quicker than a blink.
“I should have known AJ couldn’t keep his fucking mouth shut,” she grumbled, glaring at him. “What the hell do you want? Come to wallow in your victory? Breaking her heart wasn’t good enough to boost your fragile ego so now you’ve come to take a good, long look at the devastation you left behind?”
Sharp pangs raked through him, her words like barbs of truth.
Yes, he’d broken Anna’s heart…but he’d honestly thought it was for the best.
Like a fucking coward.
Heaving a sigh, he raised his hands pleadingly.
“Look, I need to talk to her. I know I fucked up—no one knows that more than I do. But I want to make it right. I need to make it right. And I can’t do that if she keeps avoiding me.”
Sally pursed her lips, her eyes narrowing, the green pupils so like her brother’s it was creepy. “You think you can just show up here when she’d just finally decided to start a new life without you? You think that whatever you have to say it going to make up for all the shit you’ve put her through over the last eight years? Is your apology going to unfuck all those women you paraded in front of her? Is it going to unfuck Anna and give her back her dignity?”
He swallowed thickly, again flayed by Sally’s words.
Shaking his head, he cleared his throat.
“I can’t undo the past, Sally, but I can sure as fuck fix it so that I have a future. And I cannot have a future without Anna in it. She’s my life, Sally.” He leaned forward and lifted a fist to thump against his chest. “She means every fucking thing to me, and I will do anything to get her back.”
A single black eyebrow rose nearly to her hairline, a contemplative yet wary expression tightening her features.
“Anything?” she asked, caution tinting her words.
“Anything. Anything,” he answered, his voice raw.
“Then I suggest you learn to grovel like a dog, because nothing less will break through that mile-high wall she’s put up around herself. She’s ready to leave everything behind, Blaze. New apartment, new job, new friends. But what she doesn’t realize is that it isn’t going to fill the hole you left. You’re rooted in her deep, asshole. And as much as I hate what you’ve done to her, I can’t help but think that…well, no one will ever compare to you. She will always be searching for you, and she’ll never be happy.”
Struck dumb by what he’d just heard, Blaze ran a shaking hand down his face. His beard, which had grown out over the week of “I don’t give a fuck”, scratched his palms.
“I want to make things right. I want to be with her. Forever,” he finally said, suddenly bone-weary.
After what felt like lifetimes, Sally nodded slowly.
“She’s in the shower. I’m headed out to take this box of shit to the trash, then I’m going to take my sweet fucking time grabbing more boxes, a cup of iced coffee, and her mail….”
It didn’t take a scientist to know that Sally was giving him a window alone with Anna.
A grin broke over his face and he couldn’t stop himself from throwing his arms around her and squeezing her in gratitude.
“Whoa,” she squeaked, pulling away. “Save that shit for Anna. The last thing I need is your manwhorishness rubbing off on me. Geez. I’ll have to go get tested after this.”
She continued to grumble to herself as she hurried down the hallway to the elevators.
Not wasting a moment, Blaze slipped into the apartment and closed and locked the door behind him.
Further into the apartment, the shower was running, which meant Anna was still in the bathroom. That gave him time to actually think about what the fuck he was going to say to her. All he knew for sure was that he could not leave that apartment without making Anna his once more—and forevermore.
