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A blatant reminder of what he was to her. She was rebuilding that wall that he’d smashed through when he stole that first kiss…then second.
With a pathetic wave, he opened the door and slid through it.
He flinched at the sound of the lock clicking into place on the other side, like the click of a trigger on a gun, pointed straight at his chest.
From the Desk of SWAN
December 5th
AJ, my love, I’m sorry that I’ve been slow to respond. My only excuse is that I’m scared. I’m scared of where this is going, and how deep it’s gotten. When I first wrote to you, I could only dream that you would eventually feel the same way for me that I feel for you. For that to be a reality this quickly feels surreal. Like it cannot possibly be true. I’m terrified that I love you so much and that someday I’ll lose you. That the day we finally meet…you’ll walk away.
I know you think that you love me enough that you don’t care what I look like, but that hasn’t been my experience. All my life, people have looked at me and judged me unfairly.
But…I am willing to offer you something of me. I am braving the unknown and stepping out into the real world. I can’t promise that I’ll walk right up to you and throw my arms around you like I so desperately want to do, but I can promise that I will give this “real life” thing a shot.
When? I don’t know. Sometime soon, I hope. Just continue being patient with me, please. I promise, it will be worth the wait.
Love, your Swan.
PS. I’m glad you enjoyed the cookies. It only took me three tries to get the recipe right.
