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"Rhys?"
His eyes flick to me, and for a second, I see shame in them. What the—?
"Do you remember what I told you a few days ago? That I’ve done a lot of things I regret?" He speaks in such a monotone voice that he sounds nothing like his usual self.
"Yes?"
His Adam’s apple bobs, and he gazes at me again. "Well, the partying and what comesalongwith that, for example. It’s not me, I mean. It’s what Kat wants, what’s expected with my...social status. Hell, this past year I’ve been fake drinking half the time. But before that..."
When he notices my confusion, he explains further. "The first year after I, uh...walked away, I did pretty much everything as long as I could ensure it wouldn’t get me kicked off the team. But even that was not a good enough excuse during my low points—when I needed to forget." The last sentence is no more than a whisper.
"Forget what?" I have an idea but can’t stop myself from asking.
He doesn’t respond right away, and just when I assume he won’t, he rasps, "You."
"Oh." I don’t know what to say. This is another reminder of how his life was impacted by what happened to me. Sure, there could be worse things than beingforcedto party, but he’s insinuating that he’s done extracurricular and recreationalstuffI never would’ve expected—not from health-conscious Rhys. My chest tightens, and I press my fist against my sternum.
I’ve heard a lot of stories aboutthem—Rhys and Katherine, the reigning couple—but no one ever mentioned the things he just admitted. Denielle knows not to talk about him, but others have always given me detailed recaps of the parties he’d gone to with Katherine. My mind starts to wander to some of those stories. Sex in the pool or a bathroom is nothing unusual, but hearing that about my brother was always...ugh. Now that he is no longer my brother, it’s—nope, not going there.
"It’s not your fault. You had no idea." His tone is gentle, and he mistakes my pained face for the initial guilt, not the memory of Sloane giving me a play by play about Katherine’s shouts from the first-floor bathroom at Kellan Jager’s pool party. I shake my head.
The corners of Rhys’s mouth tilt up. "I’d rather spend New Year’s in a hotel room watching a movie than be at a party with a ton of people I hardly know orlike, watching them get wasted, and most likely waking up with a hangover from hell myself."
My lips tighten in a forced smile, but I can’t refrain from asking the question I’ve conveniently avoided since we left Westbridge. "What did you tell Katherine? I mean, about where you are?"
He doesn’t speak right away; his face just turns blank.
"Nothing."
"Nothing?"Lilly asks in disbelief.
I peer at her several times. Something is going on inside her head, but I can’t figure out what. I slow the car to be able to better assess her. "Cal, what are you thinking?"
She blushes and squeezes her lips together.
Oh no, she’s not clamming up on me. I just admitted one of my darkest secrets to her, something I never intended for her to find out, but I swore to myself that I’d no longer keep anything from her, either. "Cal?" My tone has a warning note to it. She is going to talk to me. My gut tells me it has something to do with me and is probably nothing good.
"Can we please let it go?" She sounds exasperated and flustered at the same time.
"No!"
"Ass," she grumbles, and the shade of her face resembles an overripe tomato.
"Come on, spill it! What has you so worked up?"
This is going to be interesting.
"Fine," she harrumphs. "I just...I was wondering if the image thing is why you always have public sex? I would want to know where my boyfriend is—I mean, if he were traveling with another girl. Not that I’m just any girl; I’m your sister, but I’m not. But they think I am, but I’d still want to know. We’re friends, and if my boyfriend was traveling with a female, I’d want to know. Right, I already said that. So why didn’t you tell Katherine?"
Uh...what?
She rambled that off so fast that I have to replay it in my head. Public sex. Wait, what? We’re friends. Does that mean she has forgiven me? At the same time, she completely jumped over thethingI just admitted to her.
I open my mouth and close it again. I have no idea where to begin. Finally, I manage to say, "I didn’t expect you to forgive me." I drop the whole sex thing.What the fuck?We’ll get back to that later.
"Yeah, me neither." She’s attempting to suppress a smile. I guess she hadn’t planned to word vomit all that.
"I’m glad." I force my voice to remain steady. My entire body has just come alive, and I want to grin like a fool. I rake a hand through my hair and glance over. Lilly watches intently for my reaction, and I feel like a little boy with his first crush.Pathetic. Well, technically, she is my first crush. There has never been a second. And Lilly knows how I feel, but that doesn’t mean I want her to seehow muchthis affects me.
