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“You had such big dreams, kid. And if you need help remembering those dreams, let me oblige.”
Ben crossed the room. He switched off the projector displaying the soccer game on the screen. Then he pressed a switch on the wall and the projector screen began to roll up into its ceiling mount. I didn’t understand what he was doing. Until his actions revealed something on that wall that I had absolutely forgotten about.
I stood up from the stool, walked forward, barefoot and in complete awe, without tearing my eyes away from that wall. Now I understood. Ben was showing me the colourful caricature mural that I had painted of himself comically holding a beer keg and raising a thumbs-up. The same smile of pride I had back when I finished it returned to my lips. I did that painting. And years later, it was still the best creation I’ve done.
“Do you remember bringing your dad over to see that mural?”
I nodded. Dad was too ill-stricken to move but he insisted on seeing it. Like always, nothing held him back from following my every achievement. That day I made him proud again. That day was also the last time my father had left the house.
“Do you remember what you promised your old man? That one day, you’d start up your own business. One that would be very similar to what you and your dad did together. Painting houses and decorating them.”
“When dad was gone, that dream was gone too. I… I couldn’t do it without him.”
As the first tears rolled down my cheek, Ben was right beside me to soothe me with the comfort of his arms around me.
Oh, dad. I missed you so much. I really hope you’re not watching me trudge through my days every second. As much as I want you constantly watching over me, I’m afraid you’d be ashamed of my choices lately.
Never.That was my dad’s voice echoing in my mind.
How would I know I was making the right choices, dad? I missed your advice. You always gave me a good one.
Be brave, angel.
The reminder of those words made me cry even harder. I wept and wept without shame, the convulsive sobs stealing my breath. I was coughing violently. Seemed like my stomach didn’t like the mix of alcohol, tobacco, anxiety and my depressed state.
“I’m so sorry, Ben. I’m such a mess.”
Ben brought me a few tissues from the table nearby. The palm of his hand rubbed my back like I was a tiny, fragile baby. “You never have to apologize for anything. Whatever happens in life, good and bad, by choice or coincidence, it’s another steer toward the ultimate direction. You should be proud of how far you’ve come, kid. I know I am.”
“Thank you, Ben.”
“Come on now.” Ben escorted me to sit on a chair. “How about opening up your own now? You could be in full control of your careeranddo something that you really love and that makes you happy.”
“You’re not the first person who gave me that advice.” Zimmerman had offered to help me do that too. If I took up his offer, I wouldn’t do it alone. I would have his big name behind me, his invested money and my portfolio that included his projects. I could do it. I couldreallyopen my own business.
“So, how about it? You’re doing it?” Ben must have picked up on my elevating enthusiasm because he was visibly as excited as I was. If not more.
I must reach out to Zimmerman. But before I could do that, I had to form the right plan. And I knew just the man to help me do that.
I sprung off the chair and ran to the bar where I had left my phone. I quickly wrote a text to Joe.
Call me in the morning. Need your help with something.
I jogged back to Ben. Threw my arms around him in the tightest embrace. “Thank you. Thank you, thank you, Ben, for everything.”
Ben laughed at my sudden change of mood. “Always my pleasure, kid. Now how about you go home, have a good sleep and tomorrow, you go find that fine man of yours.”
My grin transformed into a weaker smile. “He’s not mine, Ben.”
“That’s why you should go find him. Seems to me that you didn’t just break his heart, but you fell in love with him too.”
“I don’t…” My own voice trailed away as a shiver crawled up my spine.
Oh… dear… I was so focused on hiding my feelings for him that I didn’t even identify what that major feeling actually was.
And it was right then and there, half-sober, that I, Lucille ‘Lucy’ Monroe, knew that I was irrevocably in love with Sam… and that I had let him go.
* * *
