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“…after declaring my love for you?” His tone was bold and as smooth as talking about the weather.
I nodded. So much for not being a coward. I couldn’t even finish the first sentence.
Sam lowered the empty hand he still held in the air. “Lucille, two months ago, I told you how I felt about you. Those feelings are irrelevant now. They’ve… changed.”
I expected more. Waited for more. But Sam spoke nothing else.
He didn’t need to say more, did he? The little he said was more than enough.
There he was, standing before me like an icicle. The heartbreak was plainly displayed all over the wrinkles of sadness on his face. His beautiful eyes were now a deadly arrow intentionally aimed straight to my heart. I had really, really hurt this man.
I could see Sam’s lips parting and closing like unsure whether to speak or not.
So I took one from his book: be bold. “I have a proposal for you.”
Thank you, tequila, vodka and whatever else was in that cocktail for the Dutch courage and the strength not to drop to my knees and cry over lost love.
“Lucille.” Sam appeared completely flabbergasted. Did he think it was some other kind of proposal?
“It’s a business proposal.”
Sam remained silent.
I offered him back his whiskey glass. “So, how about a business dinner? Tomorrow, if you’re free.”
Sam accepted the glass. Took a sip and stayed quiet for a few seconds. He was thinking about my proposal. I knew the gears were working fast in his head. “Friday. I got fifteen minutes free next Friday around noon. Come to my office then.”
“Works for me.” I got his subtle refusal to the possibility of a repeat of ourotherbusiness dinner.
Sam downed his remaining scotch at once and stood up, ready to leave.
“Sam…”
I wished to confess my love. But no amount of tequila could help me get the words out. This was the man who I’ve seen every side of him. At work, outside of work, at ease at his house, at my house. I’ve seen him at his worse and still that didn’t stop me from falling in love with him to the deepest depths.
I wasn’t ready to let him go. So I burst out the first thing that came to mind.
“I got myself a bucket list. About time, huh?” An awkward smile played on my lips as I held my ground while completely aware of how him standing before me had taken over my personal space. “Want to see?”
Without waiting for his answer, I reached for my bag and took out my phone. I tapped the icon on the home screen and the document with my list loaded quickly. Then I turned the screen at Sam.
For a second, Sam didn’t move. Just stood there staring at the device in my hand. I pushed the phone even more towards him, urging him to accept it. And he did.
I saw his eyeballs moving from left to right as he read the silly things on top of my list. Get a tattoo, go skinny dipping, learn German, learn to dance, dye hair pink…
“Good for you.” Sam offered the phone back to me.
But he hadn’t read all of it. Surely he didn’t. I knew it. I’ve collected at least thirty items on the list and he barely spent ten seconds reading through. He definitely didn’t read all of it, damn it.
When I didn’t take the phone from his hand, Sam set it down on the bar almost impatiently. “Enjoy your evening, Lucille.” He nodded with a faint smile before turning around and he stepped away.
“You didn’t read everything.” My voice halted him from walking too far.
I grabbed my phone and my bag and hurried to reach him, stopping a short distance behind him.
“You didn’t read everything,” I repeated.
Sam turned to face me. His hands were shoved in his pant pockets and he wore the most indecipherable glare.
