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His tongue licked the moisture that my mouth left on his bottom lip. “Since I’m bold enough to speak the truth, I’ll admit I want to do more than just kiss you again. In fact, this morning, I came late to the office because my shower took significantly longer than usual. You see, I woke up with a stiff boner, thanks to the very vivid dream I had about you, your fantastic blue dress and me and your sweet lips and – ”
“Sam…”
He took one step forward to reach me. “Admit it, Lucille. You want what I want too.”
I shook my head at him.
“Liar. I got proof, you know? On my back. In your eagerness to kiss me last Sunday, your nails left a few scratches there. It kind of makes me what to punish you for it.”
“Punish me?”
“With my tongue, my fingers. One orgasm after the other until you can’t feel your legs. And then with my –”
“I’m with Joe.” Was my rushed, pathetic lie in the form of an excuse.
“Joe?” Sam scoffed. “You certainly don’t think about him when I kiss you. You melt to my touch. You did today even more than on Sunday.”
Who wouldn’t want a repeat after repeat of the best kiss of their life with a dangerously, molten hot man like Sam? Too bad he was my boss. And my best friend’s foe.
I straightened myself, held my head high to fool my confidence and projected the best excuse I could think of as I redid my blouse’s button. “Joe and I, we talked. We’re going to work on us. We’ve got a date tonight, actually.”
“Did he come up with that suggestion or did you insist?”
“It’s not your business to know.”
“Well, then. Enjoy your date night.” Sam picked up his discarded laptop bag. Began walking towards the exit. Till he stopped, peered back at me. “A little advice, sunshine. Sometimes, the best effort you can do is to let go.”
* * *
Deep breathe in, deep breathe out.
I had been parked in front of my apartment for five minutes, taking steady breath after breath. But the whirlwind of emotions I felt wasn’t even close to withering away. I was so not ready to go in and face Joe. I was still recovering from my kiss with Sam. Sometimes Joe could read me through and through. He might figure out why my cheeks were flushed or why I couldn’t stop touching my lips. What would I tell him?
The rear-view mirror revealed the deep crease on my forehead. I smiled back at my reflection and it wasn’t even close to prevailing over the dull expression I wore.
Fuck this.
I exited my car. Forced my smile wider, hoping that the more I overdid it, the more convincing it would become.
Tonight, I needed to focus on Joe. I’ve been yearning to spend some quality time with him for weeks. Tonight was my chance. I cannot botch this because my stupid sexual frustration made me have the hots for my boss.
I had everything prepared. I booked dinner at the same restaurant where Joe and I went that first time when we bonded over the little things – our love for fries, our aversion to the smell of fish, our passion for our work, our need for a friend. I even made a special request for that strawberry cheesecake that Joe had loved so much. And I’ve planned the outfit too. A rosey-pink dress to match the high-heeled gold sandals that Joe himself had gifted to me on my last birthday.
Tonight was all about Joe and me, and about saving our friendship. Nothing else mattered.
As soon as I unlocked the door and I stepped inside, I saw Joe. My smile instantly lit up and this time, genuinely of course. He was in the kitchen, wearing his bathrobe. He had come home early. He kept his promise.
“Hey Joe. You showered already?” I took my stiletto off at the door.
“Yeaaa.”
And with that one ambiguous word and unconvincing tone, my smile faltered just as quickly as it came.
I walked further into our apartment, towards Joe. He tried to step into my perspective, but I spotted them. Just behind him, on the kitchen counter, there were boxes of Chinese takeaway.
My heart felt tugged on. Shattered beyond repair.
“You were supposed to come early from work.” Even my voice was broken.
