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Disposable.
Maybe it’s because Nathan is around my age, or maybe it’s because he’s lived a charmed life, free of trauma, that I feel so at ease with him. No matter the reason, it’s nice to at least have one friend.
“There she is. The most beautiful girl in town,” he shouts out when I walk into the store.
I shake my head and keep it low since I don’t like the attention his usual greeting always draws from the rest of the shoppers in here.
“Hey, don’t be shy. Come over here and talk to me for a bit.”
“After I get my groceries,” I reply meekly, trying very hard not to make any eye contact with anyone.
Who knows? Maybe my aunt has spies here who will rush to tell her that I’ve found a friend.
I very much doubt Aunt Lucy would be thrilled to find out anyone likes me, much less a teenage boy.
Since I don’t have much time today to chat with Nathan, I hurry to get all the vegetables and ingredients I’ll need before I make my way to his counter.
“Guess what?” he says as he passes the produce over the scanner.
“What?” I reply with a smile.
“A friend of mine is throwing a party at his house. Want to come with me?”
I shake my head. “I can’t. Sorry.”
He frowns. “It doesn’t have to be a date if you don’t want it to be. We can go as friends if that’s easier for you.”
My forehead creases. “Why would that make it easier? We are friends.”
“Oh, I know. Some girls just like to DTR before going out with a guy.” He coughs awkwardly.
“DTR?” I ask, hating that I’m so naïve when it comes to normal teenage lingo.
“You know? Define the relationship or whatnot,” he explains with a smile as I place the produce in a plastic bag.
“You have to tell your boss that these bags really aren’t good for the environment. You can get paper bags or those recyclable totes,” I reply instead of giving sway to that loaded comment.
“So you keep telling me.” He chuckles before telling me how much I owe him.
I hand him the credit card while I pack the last remaining items in the bag.
“No smokes today?” he asks.
“My aunt didn’t ask for any.” I shrug.
“Good. That means I get to see your pretty face again today.”
I smile because he’s being sweet. “Maybe.” I wave before grabbing the bags off the counter to leave.
“Raincheck on that party then. I’ll keep inviting you, and one of these days, you’ll say yes just to shut me up,” he calls loudly.
“Okay. If you say so.” I laugh and stroll out the door, feeling a little bit lighter than I did before I went in.
Just as I start walking back home, there’s this nagging feeling that someone is watching me.
It happens from time to time.
I usually chalk it off to my own paranoia, a side effect from all the shit I’ve had to endure in my life, but then other days I actually have to look behind me just to make sure no one is following me.
