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“How do you even know about this party? And why were you hanging out with Mason? What the hell is going on?” I throw questions at him like darts.
“Again, I’m sorry I lied. I didn’t want to make you mad if you knew how long I was here for. My dad was sent to rehab after he got a DUI.”
I sigh and hold back my gasp. “Oh no, Ty. I’m sorry.” As mad as I am, I can’t not say sorry about his troubles with his dad. No one deserves to deal with that.
“Levi invited me out here so I wouldn’t be alone at home. I haven’t found a job yet anyway, so I figured, why not. Plus, when I found out how close you were…” He trails off and looks out at the ocean. The sun has set, but the colors still show with dark orange and yellow as it begins to fade to night.
My heart beats loud in my ears.
“I didn’t expect you to act the way you did when I went to your dorm. I thought the surprise would be nice. But you weren’t happy. Which led me to not tell you I was staying longer,” Tyler finally says.
I say nothing. How can I?
“I got jealous when I saw you with Mason. And the first time I talked to him, I wanted to punch him in his jaw. But I didn’t. Because I soon learned what a cool guy he is. When he invited me to hang out, I said no at first. But then he asked me again, and I’ve been missing my friends from back home, so I said yes. All of his friends are pretty cool, which brings me to how I’m here. He invited me.”
I sigh and bring my knees up to my chest, keeping my long sundress over them. After brushing the sand off my dress, I wrap my arms around my legs and lay my head down, my face toward Tyler.
Still, I say nothing, unsure how we even got here. It’s like a mind fuck. He’s suddenly all in my world, and I didn’t even know?
Tyler looks me straight in the eyes, bringing his face closer to mine. Usually, he would cup my cheek or place his finger under my chin, but he didn’t touch me this time. A part of me wishes he would. Why is it all so confusing?
“I never expected to become friends with him. Or that he would be the brother of your roommate. But I’m leaving in a couple of days. For real this time.”
I don’t respond, and the silence stretches between us. Tears slip down my cheeks as I turn my head toward the ocean.
I don’t know how to feel.
Idon’t want him to leave.
But at the same time, I do.
How can I trust him now?
He lied so easily to me.
But it was silly lies. Lies that didn’t hurt anyone.
Still lies nonetheless.
Yet I still want to forgive him.
I want him to kiss me, to feel his warm arms around me, and to hear his soft whispers telling me everything will be okay.
But I also want to let the past rest and not be reminded of what I left behind.
All I know is I need some time, some space to figure myself out, my shit out, but I need to let it be clear to Tyler.
I take a deep breath as I try to put my thoughts together. “I don’t feel like I can trust you anymore. You lied so easily to me, Ty. And yes, I’m happy here and making friends, but I still always had room for you. I just need some time. I’m trying to figure myself and this place out, but it can be so overwhelming. I know I’ve been distant, but I felt if we kept the connection too close, it would only continue to keep hurting.”
Tyler stares at the waves, his face expressionless. I wish I knew what he was thinking.
“I hope I’m making sense. Hell, I’m trying to make sense of it all. But I need to know that I can trust you.”
He nods once, and then he stands. “I get that. I won’t lie to you again. But I should get going. Can I walk you back to the party?” The strain in his voice squeezes at my heart.
I nod, and we walk back toward the party in silence.
* * *
