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“Hey, stranger. Is it okay for an outsider to come in?”
I laugh and wave him inside, closing the door behind him. “Shut up, you see me at the track all the time.” Before Neveah, Axel and I had grown closer, someone I could consider a friend on and off the track. But then Nev happened, and now keeping to myself, we’re sort of been more like acquaintances than actual friends.
“Yeah, you’reright, but it’s not the same man.”
“I know. Just trying to keep myself busy and on the right road. No need to party again and throw it all away. But, we should still hang out more, like we used to before the season got underway.”
“You feeling alright, dude?” Axel gives me a funny look as he follows me outside.“You love to party and go out.”
“I’ve been wondering that myself,” I joke as I put the case of beer on the table and open it, passing one to him and opening one for myself. “But yeah, I’m fine. I’ve just seen how much ithelps to keep to myselfso Idecided to stickwith it.”
“Good for you. I’m proud of you, man. But staying home too much makes Luca a boring guy. We miss you coming out with us. There’s a new bar that opened up not too far from here.”
“Knowing my luck, I’ll step one foot inside that bar, and reporters willbe liningup at the door.”
Axel chortles. “Yeah, probably. But hey I’m down to hang out at one of our places’ anytime. Sometimes beers and food at home is all you need. Still getting some ass, though, somehow?”
“Not so much lately. Staying home doesn’t give me much of a chance.” Not like I really got much before Neveah, but Axel doesn’t need to know that. My rep can stay where it’s at as far as he’s concerned.
Axel watches me from across the table, staring at me harder than he usually does. He’s not one tojudge, but at this moment, I feel like he is. I scratch the back of my neck and shift in my seat.Damn, was this chair always so uncomfortable?
“What’s up?” I ask, needing to fill the air with something.
Axel shrugs. “Nothing, you just seem different lately.”
“How so?”
“I don’t know. I can understand the not going out, but just, hmm, I can’t quite put my finger on it.” Axel gulps down the rest of his beer and reaches for another.
“It’s my amazing maturity levels.”
Axel laughs. “Yeah, that must be it.”
“I’m just trying to take things more seriously, you know? Life isn’t one big game. I used to think it was. Until my grandmother saved me and Coach Darryl taught me otherwise. Butthenafter their deaths, I just didn’t care anymore. I felt like the universe said fuckyou,so I said fuck you back.”
Axel listens, his face somber, all judgment real or fake gone. So I continue, letting out the shit I usually keep festered inside. Only Neveah got it out of me, and why I’m telling Axel now, I don’t know. But it’s like word vomit, pouring out of me anyway, like I’m trying to figure it all out too.He really is more of a friend than I realized, and it’s a relief to tell him.
“In the end, the only one who ends up fucked is me. I can’t do whatever I want if I want to keep my career. I knew that when I chose it, when Coach drilled it into my head. Yet I didn’t care. Now I do.” I crack open another beer.
“Damn, man. I’m sorry you went through all that. Ihad no idea. But thank you for trusting me enough to talk to me about it.”
“I know, no need to say sorry. I didn’t tell you, so how would you know? And you’re welcome, I consider you a close friend, man.”
“Ditto, my man.” We pound fists and I’m thankful for his friendship.
“I think Neveah Walker has been good for you.”Axel says.
I freeze at the sound of her name and chug some beer as a distraction.
“Since the sponsorship with her company, you’ve made a turning point. And she hooks you up with the best appearances and keeps your schedule full. I’ve heard she’s one of the best.”
His words cause my heart to race. She does hook me upandkeep my schedule full. “She is the best.”Shit, did I really just say that out loud?
“Luca, my man, I’ve never seen that look on your face when talking about a woman.”
“What look?” I play dumb.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Shit, you twofuckeddidn’t you?”
