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Will he even want me here when he wakes up? I doubt it. What was I thinking by staying here?
That you don’t want him to wake up alone.
Why should I even care? I don’t fucking know, but I’m here anyway.
It’s all so messed up, and now he’s fighting for his life… how? How did we get here?
Hot tears stream down my cheeks, leaking out the sides of my closed eyes. I cry silently to myself and pray he’s okay, pray he has nothing more than some minor damages.
Why do you care so much?
My stomach aches, every part of me dreading bad news.
You love him, don’t you?
I shake my head and cry harder, overwhelmed by all these thoughts, all these feelings. I can’t make sense of any of it.
You love Luca DeMello. Admit it to yourself.
No, it’s just because I’m upset.
You love him, and you’d be devastated if something happened to him.
No, I care about him. There’s a difference.
There’s no difference. Not when it comes to him.
My mind goes back and forth, my heart beating silently in the background, knowing all along like the damn traitor she is.
Until finally the thoughts go quiet.
I gasp, my eyes flying open, and I sit up so fast, I almost knock down the nurse in front of me. Damn, I must’ve fallen asleep.
“Hey, hun.” Her smile is warm, the light reaching her eyes. “I’m sorry for waking you up, but you looked so uncomfortable. I couldn’t let you wake up aching in pain. Here, take these.” She hands me a couple of pillows and a blanket. Helping me prop them behind my back, she covers me with the blanket and hurries off, disappearing down the hallway. How sweet of her.
I try to drift back off, but it’s no use. My mind is like a live wire, thrashing and exploding with a thousand sparks.
As the night turns into morning, the floor is busier with more people moving back and forth. Some flutter in and out of the waiting area, every doctor or nurse sparking hope inside me they have news.
A man I recognize from last night strolls in and sits in the chair next to me. I study him until I realize he is Axel Malone, one of the race team drivers. It was hard to tell, his baseball cap sitting low on his head and hiding most of his face.
He says nothing at first, and I wonder why he sat next to me in a room full of empty chairs. But then he looks at me and smiles. “Hey, Neveah, right? I’m Axel, from the race team.”
“Hi, I thought that was you.” I sit up straighter and run a hand through my messy hair.
He grins. “The one and only. Any news on Luca yet?”
“No,” I answer, wishing I had more information.
“Did you stay the night?”
I nod as I uncurl my legs and stretch them out in front of me. “Yeah, I was hoping for an update.”
“Well, then the least I can do for staying by my friend’s side is get you a coffee. How do you take it?”
“You don’t have to, but thank you. I’ll make my way down to the cafeteria, eventually.”
“I’ll go for you, don’t move a muscle, okay? You stayed here all night for my friend, please let me return the favor. How do you take your coffee, and what are you hungry for?”
