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At the meeting, we had reached an agreement. Or so I thought. Boy was I wrong.
They still set an auction date. Didn't waste any time either. I got the letter two weeks ago today. And here we are, the day of the auction.
The letter flutters to the ground, and I'm tempted to stomp on it.
I don't have the money to save this place. What are we going to do? Where will we go? I certainly can't afford my rent, and Gramps social security only covers him. Hell, it barely covers him.
I didn't open the shop today. Why would I if it might not be mine in a few hours?
It's hard to breathe in here. I need to leave. I can't stay here and watch it slip from my fingers. “Let's go, Rocky.”
Grabbing my keys, I head out the door, my dog following me. I jog down the beach, not wanting to see anyone. I'm not in the mood.
When I arrive home ten minutes later, I throw some clothes in a bag and grab some food and water for both me and Rocky. Making sure I have my camping and surfing supplies in my Jeep, I load everything and take off, not bothering to look behind me.
Two hours later, a secret dirt road leads me down to a small inlet and the private beach. No one’s ever around; the family who owned the area left a long time ago. Gramps showed me this place, explaining how he knew the family growing up. The land was never sold, and it sort of goes untouched back here.
Gramps and Gran used to take me here often on the weekends, camping overnight from Saturday to Sunday. We'd fish and swim, play in the sand or go for walks to collect shells and rocks. When I got older, I'd surf farther out but still close enough I could easily swim back in.
After setting up, Rocky and I settle down by the water, me in my camping chair and Rocky lying at my feet.
It's been four weeks since I've seen her. Four whole weeks and with every passing week, it doesn't get better. It gets worse.
I tried apologizing, and yeah, maybe I took the coward’s way out by sending cards and notes, flowers and chocolates when I should've been over there talking to her face to face. I kept telling myself as soon as she responded to my apology in some way, I'd go talk to her. She never responded, and the days just slipped by.
Excuse after excuse.
I opened the shop and worked through the lessons, going through the motions acting like everything was cool when it wasn’t. Everyone around me knew it, but no one dared to say anything. Except for Gramps. He said whatever he wanted, and I’d to listen whether I agreed or not.
Just forgive yourself, Cole. You deserve to be happy. What happened wasn't your fault. Gramps’s words ring in my head. I try to make myself believe them, but they just won't stick.
A replay of the summer scrolls through my head. When I think of good times, Addi’s face is there. She was part of all my good times, every single one of them.
I care about her. Like I told Gramps. I care about her as a friend.
You love her, Cole.
Fucking admit it already.
I wouldn't have dropped everything to get to the hospital if I only cared, sleeping all night in a shitty chair and waiting the entire next day in another shitty chair only to be turned away at the end of it all.
But I still tried to say sorry.
I rub Rocky's head. “What would you do, boy? Fight for the one you love?”
Rocky whines and looks at me funny, throwing his paw in my lap. All he cares about right now is dinner. I laugh and scratch under his chin, his favorite spot. “You like Addi, right?” He licks and nudges my hand, wanting more attention.
I need to clear my head and figure my shit out. In the water on my board where I belong.
* * *
“Cole, there you are! I was starting to worry.”
Rocky's already in Gramps’s lap, lapping up all he can get. I walk into Gramps living room from his entryway. He's sitting in his favorite chair enjoying Rocky's affection, like two peas in a pod. “Hey, Gramps.”
“How are you? Enjoy your time away?”
I nod. “How'd you know?” I look around before taking a seat on his couch. His space looks clean and tidy, and while his décor is plain, touches of him and Gram can be seen in their knickknacks.
