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An hourlater and I'm spilling my guts to Sarah, half the bottle of wine gone already.
"I don't fucking get it, Sarah. I just don't. I follow the rules, I get fucked. I don't follow them, I get fucked. What gives?"
"I don't know, girl. But, it's definitely not following those rules. Those rules fucking suck, my friend." She taps my glass with hers and I shake my head.
"I know they do. But, Knox confirmed the fact that they have some value to them. I mean, look. I spread my legs like a slut and he's ignoring me faster than I can say give it to me again."
Sarah giggles as she refills our glasses. "Men suck. They only think with their cocks. They're all the same."
"Even your hot janitor?"
"Hell yeah. Zeke is always thinking with that cock. No doubt about it."
Sarah's had her fair share of men over the years. I'm happy she's found someone to settle down with.
"How do you know then? When you finally find that special someone?"
"I wish I could tell you. I've pushed Zeke away since we began fucking. He dug his way into my heart though, and now I can't picture life without him. Hey, that may change, but for now, it's good. He's an ass at times. Hell, I know I'm a bitch. Everyone has their days."
"Did you feel anything with Zeke at the beginning?"
"Not love, if that's what you mean. Our chemistry's intense, all we did is fuck. Ha, we still do."
I sip my wine while my mind rehashes over every minute spent with Knox. It's driving me batty.
"Em, I see that brain of yours ticking. Soon, there'll be smoke pouring out. Listen, hon," Sarah grasps my hand, giving it a squeeze. "Every relationship is different. Some guys I've dated, the chemistry wasn't as strong, and it didn't make a damned bit of difference. What matters is how you feel when you're with him. Love can take a while in some cases and with others, it happens instantly. It beats the fuck out of me what works and what doesn't. The best thing is to just let it happen. Stop worrying so much."
Sarah makes a good point. If only I could follow her advice. Instead, my over active brain doesn't know when to shut the hell up.
"Who’s the therapist now?" Sarah asks and winks at me.
"Yeah, yeah." I say as I sip more wine. "Helping myself is impossible for me, go figure."
"I think it's hard for everyone. It's not easy to analyze ourselves."
"What would I do without you?"
"Up shit's creek without a paddle?" Sarah asks, her eyes aglow.
"That about sums it up."
Sarah smiles. "Just let things be. See how it goes. Give him some space. Men get freaked out, too, you know. Maybe he felt something he wasn't ready for. Or, maybe he really is an asshole. Try to keep your heart out of it before you know for sure."
I snort. "Yeah, easier said than done."
"I know, believe me, I know. But, you can do it. I have faith in you. Now, tell me about your crazy mother and sister. Spying on you and making you a dating profile? What in the fuck?"
I nod, drinking the last sip of wine. I refill my glass and top off Sarah's, the bottle now polished off. "Yep. A whole other level of crazy. I kicked them out of my house twice now."
Sarah's mouth drops open. "What? I remember you telling me about the first time. What happened the second time?"
"My mom calls me up out of the blue, demanding to have dinner with me. I told her no, she can't act like nothing happened and not apologize, either. She claims neither of them have anything to say sorry for."
"Those bitches." Sarah mutters while shaking her head.
"I tried to ignore her all week but then she begins threatening me about the student loan payments. She loves to throw that one in my face."
Sarah rolls her eyes before I continue.
