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“Of course, you do,” Erika snapped with an audible spitefulness that nearly matched Mr. Grey’s.
Mr. Grey looked down and addressed me. “And what does our lost, little lamb have to say?”
His former scorn toward me returned with that question. My desperation was rapidly draining, and I was now only left with a good mix of both confusion and understanding. “I… What Laurent and Rex says make perfect sense to me—I’ve felt drawn to them from the moment I arrived here.”
“And you continue to make the same mistakes,” Mr. Grey continued. “Never choosing between the two of them.”
Tears were stinging my eyes as my next words came out, “I could never choose between them and I guess I never will.”
I saw the pained expressions on the faces of Rex and Laurent as Mr. Grey spread his arms triumphantly and said, “Why did you expect her answer this time to be any different from all the other times?”
I recalled my brief history of Brandeis, what little I’d witnessed. “Brandeis tried to run away, didn’t she?”
“Prompting this fool to send Ned after you. It was an ill-advised attempt to keep you here,” Mr. Grey emphasized with a nod.
“I had to do something to stop her!” Rex protested.
“Really? Elevating an outlaw from forty years ago just to give him a chance to make a name for himself as a famous gunfighter?” Erika asked.
I blinked. “What?! Is Ned a… a ghost?”
“The more appropriate term, my dear, is ‘revenant,’” Laurent clarified. “It literally means ‘the returned.’ His condition of return means he must indenture himself to Mr. Grey as a permanent servant. He is paying off a karmic debt, you see.”
I pointed my finger at Rex and Laurent. “How come some people remember what they were before, like all of you do, but I don’t?”
A pained, but familiar look covered Laurent’s face. “With your permission, Mr. Grey...?”
Mr. Grey dismissed him with an irritated backhand. “For once, try to keep your speech terse and devoted exclusively to the absolute essentials.”
Laurent bowed graciously and when he stood up, he said, “I play the role of the seducer—and all that role requires is a persuasive tongue. Rex plays the role of violent death and stands for those who choose to inflict harm because they feel none in return. But what about innocence?”
“I played the role of the innocent?” I asked, but it was more a statement, a dawning realization.
Laurent paused for a long moment and the last word hung in the air. “Yes, and innocence cannot be maintained except by carefully curated ignorance. When one witnesses all the injustice of this world, innocence has not long to survive.”
I thought of all the people I’d unwillingly touched and marked, all the while not having a clue as to what I was doing or what was happening.
“Remember the day you auditioned under the big top?” Laurent asked.
I recalled how much I missed Amelia in those early days. “That’s when I started forgetting about Amelia,” I said. “Being ignorant of her very existence allowed me to...” I couldn’t finish the sentence.
“What were you thinking by harvesting that one?” Rex said to his brother, pointing at the human-turned-doll in my hands. “Trying to make the little juggler vanish was riskier than bringing Ned back from the grave.”
“How did I know our little bird would insist on seeking out her old friend?” Laurent spat back.
“Innocence thrives on insatiable curiosity,” Erika explained. “Putting her tent so close to the ebony caravan ensured the rediscovery of her friend. It was all inevitable.”
Mr. Grey rubbed the bridge of his nose. “I find this conversation rapidly growing tiresome.” Dropping his hand, he looked at me and raised his pointer finger. “You may ask one last question before I deliver you to your preordained fate.”
I couldn’t look at the man who had designated himself as my executioner, and turned to Erika. She’d already cleared the first three rows of shelves and was moving onto the next section. No matter how many dolls she put inside her basket, none of them fell out. It seemed as if it had no bottom.
“Why are the members of the troupe changed into dolls?”
“Isn’t that obvious, child?” Erika replied. “Because they’re all dead now.”
A cold shiver chilled me to the bone. “No, that can’t be true. They’re just—”
“Whatever you want to say is incorrect,” Mr. Grey interjected, baring his unbridled anger.
