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“How do you know they’re for you?” he muttered, swiping a bottle of water off the cart and cracking it open, attempting to act blasé, like he hadn’t gone out of his way.
“I know you just as well as you know me,” I reminded him, my look sobering a touch as I let him see how much I appreciated it. Because that was what Merrick did, those small acts of service some may not even notice. But he remembered every detail like how I’d always wanted a set like this but had never had the spare cash to buy some.
He muttered something unintelligible under his breath in response and stalked over to the opposite side of the mats and over to a control panel on the wall. He pressed a few buttons and electronic music blared over the speakers I hadn’t even noticed were mounted on the ceiling.
“How are you going to instruct me over this?” I shouted and strapped the Velcro tightly around my wrists.
“I’m not.” He smirked, tilting his head back as he downed the rest of the bottle. I couldn’t help but stand there mesmerized by the sight of his throat working as he swallowed the water. A few droplets rolled over his chin and followed their trail as they traveled straight down, between his pecs and over his abs.
My mouth dried, and I only realized my lips had parted in awe as he crunched the bottle in his fist and gave me a smug grin.
“You’re doing jumping jacks.”
I huffed out a breath of annoyance, but I was sure he couldn’t hear it over the music blaring around us. Biting back my groan of displeasure, I began my warm-up, knowing from when he’d trained me before there was no getting out of this.
I let my body move to the beat of the music, the upbeat sounds driving me on. My ponytail bobbed with each move, the end brushing against my skin. I didn’t bother to keep count, knowing Merrick would let me know when to stop. He’d always been like that, and if I complained he’d add at least twenty more reps.
“Push-ups,” he barked, striding back toward the cart. I pulled in ragged pants, my pulse thumping in my ears almost as loud as the bass.
“Yes, sir,” I drawled when I finally caught my breath enough to speak. I grinned at the tightening of his jaw, his muscles working as he clearly held himself back.
I’d always noticed the jolt of excitement he got when I called him sir. I could only hope there’d be a chance to explore that soon, because just the idea of him using that domineering tone on me in the bedroom made tendrils of desire lick up my spine.
They’d rescued me, heard my truth, and they were willing to let me be part of taking down the Barones, but I still didn’t know where I stood with Merrick. Six years was long enough to fall out of love with someone, even if they were one of your best friends. I hadn’t, not for a second, but he spent years hating me for leaving … could I really blame him if he had?
I planted my hand on the mat, taking a moment to figure out a position comfortable with the padding over my knuckles. My body lowered and I lifted myself back up, my muscles burning with each rep. I was used to working out, it was one of the only times I was able to get a moment of peace away from Tommaso. It was one of the few places I was able to go alone, that was until he found me chatting with Ryan, the fitness instructor. I pushed away those vile memories, not wanting the guilt to cling to me anymore. I might like the violence, but not against someone innocent, who didn’t have a chance to fight back …
The music that had become a constant steady beat in my ears cut off abruptly. “That’s enough.”
I pulled myself up, sweat already coating myself from the strain. He tossed me a bottle of water, and I fumbled, trying to catch it with the gloves on my hands, and somehow, I miraculously managed not to drop it.
Cracking it open, I threw my head back and let the liquid glide down my throat, the water helping to ease some of the fatigue I was already feeling. I felt the weight of his hazel gaze on me before I even brought the bottle down. His jaw worked as he held himself back, hunger darkening his look for a moment. Relief flooded me at the lust in his eyes, some of my worries waning with the reassurance there was still a spark that lingered between us.
“Now, show me what you remember,” he barked.
He picked up a pair of pads and slipped them onto his hands while he strode toward me. Throwing the bottle to the ground, I joined him in the center of the blue mat and bent my knees, preparing for the grueling session I knew was awaiting me.
TosayIwasout of practice was an understatement. But the movements came back after a few rounds, my jabs more lethal, my ability to sense when he was about to swing out, sharpening as I fell back into the rhythm. I’d tried to sneak off to a few kickboxing classes at the gym, but the lack of consistency had made my movements clumsy. But after a few hours in the gym with Merrick, that muscle memory snapped back, and I was going after him, my arms and legs burning with the effort, but I couldn’t help the smile that stretched across my face as adrenaline coursed through my veins.
Merrick grinned back at me, even dropping the pads at the end to get a pair of his own gloves. Of course, we held our strikes back, not looking to injure the other, but excitement hummed through me as I rediscovered a part of myself I’d thought was lost long ago. My body flowed through the motions, and I pushed past the screaming in my muscles, never wanting to forget again how much power I had, or what my body, my mind could truly do. I wasn’t a victim; I wasn’t a trophy meant to make someone else look better while collecting dust on the shelf.
“I think that’s enough for today,” Merrick panted, his arms dropping to his sides. He tore off his gloves as he strode over to the cart to get some more water, passing me one as I approached.
“So, how did I do?” I asked, a wry grin curling on my lips as I peeled the gloves off my hands, knowing I’d proved him wrong eventually. I could take some asshole out; I had that power. But as Merrick’s eyes met mine, they didn’t hold the same excitement.
“Why didn’t you smash your fist into that asshole’s face when he grabbed you?” Merrick demanded, prowling closer to me.
“Because I—” I trailed off, the smile falling from my face. I knew what he wanted me to admit but thinking something in your head and saying it out loud were two different things. I’d kept everything in for so long, needing to protect others with secrets and lies. But I couldn’t do that anymore, not when I had my guys back—and now Spade. I had no reason to keep everything bottled up inside any longer.
“Because you forgot,” Merrick finished for me, stepping closer to me. “You forgot how strong you are, you forgot who you are.”
“I did,” I breathed, letting those words fully sink in. I’d lost so much of myself that even in a situation where I knew I had the ability to fight, I’d still relied on that weapon to make me feel powerful. No, not lost—forgotten. I’d been conditioned through the constant threats to anyone close to me to not fight back. But I was slowly regaining those pieces one by one.
“But you’re not alone, not anymore, Gi.” His throat bobbed and he took another step closer, his calloused finger sweeping back a stray strand of hair that had fallen out of my ponytail. “I’ll remind you just how strong you are and cheer you on as you gut the fucker next time.”
I stepped closer to him, just the idea of him watching me take an attacker down, watching the blood seep out of him sent a wave of desire over me.
“I know that now, Merrick,” I whispered. “Thank you.”
