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However, being accompanied by two immature men as escorts makes this difficult, especially since I don’t want to concern Adas with a possible pregnancy in the middle of this mission. This is extremely important to him, and I would absolutely hate to throw off his concentration, especially if it turned out to be nothing.
A lapse in judgment could put his life in danger.
“Okay, we’re going to get let off over here, and we’ll just walk around for a while to get whatever you need. Neither of us knows this area, so it’s more about trying to find what we can. No guarantees,” Erik says to me in a stilted, commanding voice.
He isn’t as good at being imposing as Adas, and I think he knows it, which makes it even more obvious.
“How far are we going to walk?” I ask, growing nervous as I look around for a pharmacy and can’t find anything of the sort on this small strip of town.
“I don’t know, just tell us when you see somewhere you want to go. Adas doesn’t want us out too long, so we need to hurry up,” Erik replies, lighting a cigarette and growing frustrated as it fails to ignite.
I cross my arms over my abdomen, feeling even more self-conscious and awkward than before. Erik and Gregory clearly feel a certain way about me, and not knowing why is absolutely killing me. Was it something I did before the accident? Why wouldn’t Adas warn me?
We’re nearing a corner when I see a pharmacy down the adjacent road. It’s small, but all I need are essentials, not shitty headphones or overpriced snack food.
“Hey, can we go down this way?” I ask, pointing down the road.
Erik doesn’t respond. Instead, he simply shrugs and begins to walk in the direction of the pharmacy. I follow close behind, feeling wary of strangers who are looking at me like I have worms for eyes. I feel so exposed and out of place, which is a completely new feeling for me since I left the house. Back at the estate, everything was there for me.
When we enter the store, an unfriendly shopkeeper halts his conversation with a customer to glare at me as I walk inside. I’m hobbling on my crutches, of course, so I can’t even imagine he thinks I’m in here to steal. I’m sure he’s just wary because I’m foreign, but under the circumstances, I’m not thrilled to have someone’s eyes on me so closely.
It takes me forever and a day to find what I’m looking for because, not only are all of the shop signs in Spanish, Gregory and Erik are impossible to lose. With my compromised condition and their generally authoritarian demeanor, they’re both on my tail with every step.
“Hey, if you need one of us to translate something for you, just let us know. But we need to get out of here as soon as possible,” Gregory says as he picks out a pack of cigarettes from the wall near the register.
I realize now that they have been more or less herding me around the store into the aislestheyneed to be in until we ended up here.
“Is it alright if we go back through just once?” I ask, trying to buy myself at least one chance to browse on my own. “It’s just that, you know, I havelady issues,and it makes me uncomfortable to purchase those types of things in front of men I don’t know.”
Erik laughs. “Sweetheart, I grew up with five sisters. None of that shit phases me. It’s basically like toilet paper or toothpaste. I’m an adult, and so is Gregory, for the most part.”
I feel the veins bulging in my head as I struggle not to hobble off on my own and steal a test myself.
“Here, I’ll go with you,” Erik offers, a thin layer of condescension over the otherwise caring tone of his voice. He leads me over to the women’s hygiene aisle, and just seeing row after row of pregnancy tests makes me want to cry. They’re so close, but I can’t just take one and ask Erik to buy it for me. That would be suicide.
I sheepishly grab a box of light tampons, hoping to god that I’ve gotten the correct size for whatever kind of period I usually have. I haven’t had one since I woke up, and I doubt very much that Adas would know something like that, so I go with the option that will save some face as my inner world crumbles.
We pay for the cigarettes, tampons, and a handful of nonperishable food before we head out. I can’t imagine that they want to stay out for much longer than we have been, so I have to think of something fast before they decide to go back to Marat’s compound.
If I knew exactly how long we would be out here in Mexico, I would just wait until I got home to find a test, even though I don’t know the terrain of the city at all. The fact that we could be here for months makes me want to vomit.
“Do you guys want to stop for a drink?” I ask in a moment of unusual inspiration. “I bet you guys can’t outdrink me.”
Erik and Gregory scoff. “Yeah? Oh, you’re a tough girl, aren’t you? Are you going to challenge me to a fist fight next to prove how strong and independent you are?” asks Gregory, turning to me and batting his eyes at me insultingly.
“Yeah, maybe. But first, I need a fucking drink. I’m Adas’s wife, and he’s going to be fucking furious if he finds out that you’ve been speaking to me that way. I don’t know the extent of Adas’s wrath, but I’m sure you both do,” I reply angrily, really playing into the stereotype of the general’s overinvolved wife.
They exchange annoyed, defeated glances. “Okay, fine, but since you’re like a hundred pounds, we’re going to take it easy on you,” Erik says.
Okay, I got them to play along, but now what?
It’s not hard for us to find a tavern in the stretch of road we’re walking. When we walk in, the bar is pretty packed, helping me come up with a plan faster as I look around the room.
We approach the bar, and Erik takes it upon himself to order for us until I stop him.
“No, I want half a glass of vodka. That’s all. If I pass out before I drink all of it, you win,” I say.
Gregory rolls his eyes, ordering his and Erik’s drinks before mine, contempt in his voice as he states my order.
