AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Shhh! Priya! The bar isn’t that big. He’s going to hear you!” Grace scolds, whispering harshly with a sense of urgency in her voice. She’s so annoying. I’m starting to wish that she hadn’t come. If she wanted to sit at home and watch The Bachelor in Paradise in her college sweatpants, she could have just said that.
“Who’s going to go talk to him?” Priya says mischievously. “I think it should be you, Grace. He looks like he could fuck you into another dimension. He could probably change your entire worldview.”
Grace rolls her eyes as hard as she can, briefly giving herself the same appearance as the actress from The Exorcist. “Priya, we are not the same. No man’s penis is going to change my mind about anything. Have some self-respect.”
They continue bickering for what feels like thirty minutes while I sneak glances at their topic of conversation. He’s still alone, which gives me the impression that he didn’t bring a date or come here to meet anyone. He does, however, seem keen on leaving with someone.
My chest flutters at the thought of him approaching me for that exact reason, but I talk myself out of the fantasy. Why would he choose me when Samira and Priya are right here? They dressed to get picked up tonight. I’m justhere.Grace’s whole aura is a big cement block of disinterest, so I’m not competing with her, but I’m not even in the same league as the other two.
Still, I’m so drawn to him that I can’t stop glancing in his direction.
The wine isn’t helping, either. I’m drinking the best Merlot I’ve ever had in my life, and it’s rushing to all the right places as my cheeks flush with drunken desire. It’s a little embarrassing to be here with my friends in such a state, but they’re all riding the train to blackout city at a staggering pace. I’m certain they don’t even notice.
Just as I can’t imagine things getting any more heated, the man locks eyes with me from across the bar. I freeze, holding his gaze as I panic internally. Did he notice I was staring at him? Does he think I’m insane?
Shit. He definitely thinks I’m insane now.
As if I couldn’t get any more nervous, he stands up and approaches our group. His gait is confident and intentional, indicating that he’s still sober enough to remain collected. He’s not going to drunkenly shamble over here to tell us all how beautiful we are, harassing us until we have to call the manager to kick him out.
At least, I hope he doesn’t. If he were that type, I would be so embarrassed for letting his looks consume me like they have been.
I, however, am quickly approaching drunkenness, and I struggle to compose myself as he grows closer to us.
“Hi ladies, couldn’t help but notice you from across the bar. You’re not from around here, yeah?” he asks, his Italian accent weaving an intricate pattern through my mind as I listen.
“Oh, we’re from the United States. We’re here until next Friday,” Samira replies, her perfect lips forming a demure, come-hither smile.
I feel a pang of jealousy towards her, and I focus intently on not allowing it to show on my face.
“Oh, that’s not nearly enough time,” he replies, turning his head towards me and softening his expression. “I noticeyou’vebeen awfully quiet.”
I freeze, every faculty in my brain struggling to form a cohesive response. “Oh, well, I’m just trying not to dominate the conversation.”
He smiles knowingly as if he can detect the ridiculousness of my lie. “Huh, interesting. Can I buy you a drink to get you talking a bit more?”
As if my composure couldn’t be any more difficult to maintain, I sit up straight and look him in the eyes. “No, I’m actually fine without one, thank you.” Internally, I’m freaking out, but my flight or fight response has settled solidly onresist at all costs!
His eyes narrow in confusion, but he puts his hands up in surrender and slowly steps away. “Sorry, didn’t mean to offend. Have a beautiful night, ladies.”
Samira, Priya, and, yes, even Grace, all glare at me.
“Why did you do that? We were alljusttalking about how fine he was! He wanted to buy you a drink! What’s wrong with you?” Samira asks with exasperation.
“I don’t know. I just haven’t really dated anyone in a long time. I don’t know how to talk to men anymore,” I confess. “I’m pretty drunk. I didn’t want to fuck it up.”
“Being wine drunk is the best time to talk to men! You have all the confidence in the world. I know you. I’ve seen the way you dance when you’re wine drunk,” Priya interjects.
She’s right. I do tend to have more confidence when I’m drunk on wine. Even still, it feels like a bad idea to talk to someone who disarms me so easily. Usually, I have the upper hand in my interactions with men, but tonight I feel too vulnerable.
I’ve spent the last two years trying to date, and it’s been an absolute disaster. Even when do my best to be selective and picky, the worst of them always slip through the cracks and make my life a living hell. A few of them have located my address by stalking me even before we met in person, stalking me with the intent of showing how “devoted” they are.
Some of them have love-bombed my heart to rubble, turning on me as soon as I make any kind of request of them. They’d send flowers and chocolates to my job every Friday, but the minute I asked them to be less possessive when we went out together, they’d become monsters right in front of my eyes. It was like their brains were hijacked by something evil.
Something I’ve learned about men in the dating world is that nothing is as fun to them as the possibility of getting away with something. They always get so disappointed when your energy matches theirs. If you’re a single woman who wants to engage in casual sex with no strings attached, they’ll lose interest because there are no boundaries to cross.
They need to lure in the woman who wants a relationship, someone who has been hurt enough in the past to trust him to the point that she lets him get away with everything. If a man isn’t getting away with something, he’s bored.
Even if this guy at the bar is perfectly behaved and lovely, I don’t feel ready to talk to a man in a country that I don’t live in. What good can come of that? What would be the end game? The only way this would end is with sex that I would definitely regret in some way or another.
