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As soon as I attempt to kiss him back, he pulls away from me aggressively and shoves me back down on the bed.
“You’re just as much of a needy slut as you were back then. That’s so unfortunate for you,” he scoffs, leaving the room and slamming the door behind him.
I’m caught blindly in the hurricane of emotions I’ve just experienced, unsure of which to assign all my attention. Marcello is so much scarier than I could have ever known, even after learning about the work that he does. His temper is impossible to predict. I was positive that he was going to hit me or throw me to the ground.
But... that kiss was the most euphoric thing I’ve experienced since the first time I met him. I had no idea how badly I needed that kind of passion again until I felt the warmth of his mouth against mine. I thought I could live a lifetime without it, swearing it off as a one-time freak occurrence.
Now I know that I need more, and I don’t know what to do.
It’s so cruel of him to just leave me here in this room alone with my thoughts after he kissed me like that. He’s using my loneliness as a tool for control, and I fear that I’ll let him keep doing it for as long as I’m trapped here.
It makes me wonder what exactly his end game is with me. Is he truly trying to protect me, or is he just using me to stroke his ego while he waits for another woman that he likes better to come along? I doubt that someone like Marcello has trouble finding women to play with and manipulate. Why did it have to be me?
And am I really that upset about it?
After that kiss, I’m so restless and annoyed with him that I fantasize about masturbating in front of him out of spite. I want to do something that will turn him on so much that it makes him angry. But when I think about all of the things I could do, I realize that all it does is cause my desire for him to skyrocket.
No matter what I dream up, all I can do is sit here and hope that he decides that he wants me just as badly as I want him. I want real passion like we had before. No more manipulation, no more mind games.
ChapterSeventeen
MARCELLO
Watching June dissolve like that in my hands was a bigger rush than I expected it to be. It was so easy for me to take control of her that I was a little shocked that she even attempted to contact the outside world in the first place. It was awfully brave of her, especially for someone who folds as soon as I kiss her. Such a small gesture compared to the relationship we’d had before, no matter how brief.
I wasn’t expecting the kiss to impact me that much, that’s for sure. It’s been such a long time since I had contact with a woman that didn’t feel like a fucking chore. It’s never been difficult for me to command the attention of a woman I was interested in, but my interest is always depleted the second we start talking about anything.
If I’m being honest with myself, June was the last person who made me feel something when we had sex. I would never admit it to her, but it took me months to stop fantasizing about her, and the night we shared, however brief. I’ve spent so much time looking for that spark in others, knowing damn well I wasn’t going to find it, but here it is in my lap again.
June’s presence in my life has already proven to be a roadblock for me. I’m in the middle of one of the most important missions of my life, and she has to fucking show back up now? I know that I won’t let myself get distracted by her. I’m far too collected for something like that. But the fact that she’s going to take up any of my mental space is irritating at the very least and a major detriment at the worst.
What kinds of mistakes am I more likely to make now that she’s here to detract from my focus?
I don’t have much of a frame of reference for how I behave when I’m in a serious relationship with a woman, which is obviously not the case with June and me. However, there’s no way to hide from the fact that she’s going to be entwined in my life for the foreseeable future.
It would be embarrassing of me to allow myself to get wrapped up in some American tourist who’s been obsessed with me after meeting with me one time. There would be nothing for me to gain by giving into her fantasies other than her cooperation, which might end up being the only leverage I have with her.
Damn it.
Admitting to myself that I find her irresistible would be another form of weakness that I can’t show to her if I want to maintain control over her. She could very well use that information to try and controlme,which would do nothing but delay me from meeting my objective. There’s no doubt in my mind that she thinks she’s got the upper hand just because she’s hot. I’ll have to be more forward about my dominance towards her.
I have to be careful with her. She’s already shown the initiative to try and escape by getting outside forces involved. This is the most concerning aspect of having her here. She’s not scared enough that I’ll hurt her because I haven’t. I don’t want to hurt her at all, but she might drive me to it just by pushing me further to the end of my patience.
If I’m going to make this work, I need to view this as more of a dance than a battle. She receives my attention and devotion of some kind, and I receive her cooperation. It isn’t as simple as it is on paper, of course, but it’s far easier and more rewarding than having to restrain her and threaten her all the time.
But how do I get on her good side?
Even with her years-long infatuation, she’s more than likely to be furious with me for getting her into this situation. I haven’t treated her with the most respect since I forced her to come here. I need to take responsibility for how this will impact her willingness to listen to me. Had I known that this situation was going to continue evolving the way it has, I would have used a little more tact.
Whatever. She’s still in a far better position than she was when I found her, and she’s lucky to be alive. Now that she’s proven to me that she’s just here on a work visa, I’m confused about how she ended up in the hands of my most notorious enemies. She’s no help when I ask because she was black-out drunk when she was kidnapped.
I’ve been trying to remove her from my mind when I strategize about taking out my revenge on Di Angelo. Charlie sent over all of the files he has on Di Angelo’s whereabouts, and I’ve been combing through them for any information that might give me a more targeted approach.
Even if June isn’t making me horny or asking too many questions, knowing that she’s right upstairs sets me on edge. I have no idea how to keep a hostage happy and occupied while I work. I should have assigned someone to her to look after her, but now I need all of my men working closely on the tasks that point us towards absolving my brother.
I’m so angry with myself for getting involved in this at all. On the one hand, I don’t know what else I could have done in good conscience. But now, she’s an ever-growing burden for me, and it’s clear that she isn’t going down without a fight.
So, seduction it is.
