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The feeling of the hardwood on my feet is a grim reminder that this might be the last time I ever experience such a thing ever again. How many other mundane experiences have I taken for granted? What else am I going to truly feel for the first time today?
I quietly exit the bedroom, leaving June and her dreams to continue on without me until she’s ready to put herself on the line for me.
The irony of this situation isn’t lost on me. I’d made such a show of making sure that she knew how grateful she should be to me for saving her life. I was so convinced that she owed me something for sparing her, for keeping her out of the malicious, violent hands of my enemies.
Now, I’m bringing her right to them on my own, practically on a silver platter if we happen to get caught.
As much as I want to take the time to tell her how much I regret the way we met again, there’s just no time. Charlie will be here soon to help prepare me for the occasion, going over the plan with me for the fifteenth time this week to make sure that nothing has been missed. At this point, I doubt there’s anything at all that we haven’t planned for, but ten people are about to risk their lives for this.
All for Enzo.
If I survive this, I sure hope he appreciates how much trouble went into killing the man who put him in prison. This selfless act might even be what gets him out of prison. If there are no witnesses to take the stand, how will he be charged?
I know I should eat something, but the idea of food makes me sick to my stomach right now. I guess I won’t have anything to throw up on the way to the wedding when shit starts to feel real.
Right now, I wish there was some kind of medication I could take that would help me depersonalize enough to soldier on through this mission without being bothered at all. I know that the German army used methamphetamine to stay alert during World War II, but I promised myself I’d never touch the stuff.
I’ll just have to go into it raw and unassisted.
Right now, I really wish June was awake. I would force myself to eat if it meant we could share breakfast together one last time in this house. It might be the only good that comes from this – being truly present in the moment for the first time in my life. I’d study every bit of her, of the way the morning light hits her hair. I’d stare deep into her eyes, trying to find the bottom of their infinite depths.
Just as I’m getting lost in my fantasy, Charlie calls me.
I’m not ready for this, not yet. I want to let the phone ring, but I know this is the moment for me to take charge of this day.
“Hey Charlie,” I say, tapping my fingers anxiously against the kitchen table. “Are you on your way?”
“Yeah, I’ve got everything. I checked in with almost everyone else to make sure they were taking their positions. They all know what to look for when we get there. Now it’s just a matter of pulling it off.”
I take a deep breath, craving a cigar like I never have before. Ironically, the whole wedding party could be smoking cigars together right now as a form of celebration.
“Okay, I’ll be ready for you. Hey, I did tell you that June is accompanying me, right? I saw that the original guest was bringing a guest with him as well. It fits in better with the original plan,” I say, sitting down to steady myself.
He pauses before responding. I know he’s annoyed by June’s presence in general, and now she’ll be standing by my side during the defining moment of my career in organized crime. He feels like she’s a distraction, and he would have been correct a week ago.
Now, things have changed.
“You don’t really think she’ll be able to handle it, do you, Marcello? I know there was the thing with the shooting before, but this is going to be a fucking disaster if she can’t keep her shit together,” he replies.
“Charlie, I need you to trust me. Do you honestly think I would risk this mission just to make my girlfriend feel included? She knows what’s going to happen. You don’t need to worry about her freaking out.”
He sighs heavily. “Any other bombs you want to drop on me?”
“Yes, I need you to get us a plane out of Italy to the United States. We’re going to fly to June’s home city as soon as Franco is dead. Is that something you can arrange?” I ask, hesitant to hear the exasperation in his voice.
“What the fuck? Marcello, why didn’t you ask me to do this sooner? That’s not the kind of thing you can push on me last minute. I need time for something like that,” he replies haughtily.
“Because I decided that we needed it last night. The situation is very complicated, but I need you to not ask questions and just do what I say,” I continue.
“How complicated? How much more complicated could this situation possibly get?”
I take another deep breath, bracing myself for criticism. “June's two children are mine. I met her one night when she was visiting the country, and I had sex with her. It’s a freak occurrence that she found me again, but I have to do what’s right by her and the boys.”
Charlie is silent for a solid twenty seconds. “What? How many layers are there to this story? Why do I feel this is all something I should know about?”
“Because I didn’t know until last night. Okay? Now just do what I say, or this whole mission is going to go to shit in record time. I’ll see you when you get here.”
I hang up on him and slam my phone down on the surface of the table. I hate to be so short with him, but I feel like he’s more interested in looking for reasons to dislike June rather than trusting my judgment. At a time like this, it bothers me that he would be looking for petty issues with her when we should all be laser-focused on making sure none of us get killed.
