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He smiled, then eyed the ceiling again. "I already miss her."
"Ally?" I sat up, wanting to pay more attention to him.
"Yeah. I shouldn't, right? She's a whore." He grimaced at his own words. "I shouldn't say that."
"It's okay," I told him. "She is. You don't deserve to be treated like that."
"Yeah," he agreed. "Not twice."
I sucked in a breath. His words hurt, especially now. Now that it was all for nothing.
"Sorry." He nudged my side. "That was a dick thing to say."
"You're right, though. You don't deserve that. Not at all, Ty. I hope you know that. You're a good guy, one of the best, really."
He laughed once. "Maybe that's the problem. Maybe I should've been an asshole—worked for Logan. He got the girl."
His words stung. "Did he? Because I'm here, and he's not. So I don't really see how he got the girl."
He didn't say a thing.
Neither did I.
We just sat there, looking at each other.
I heard Ethan walk in and sit on the recliner. My eyes didn't move from their spot.
"Well." Ethan broke the silence. "Aren't you two a party."
"Party," I said.
"What?" they both asked.
A smile pulled at my lips. "Let's have a party."
***
A few hours later the house was filled with the familiar odor of beer, perfume, and sweat. I sat outside by the fire with a soda in my hand. Ethan was next to me, of course.
"You should go have fun. That girl's been eying you the entire night." I jerked my head towards a blonde a few feet away.
He lifted his head and looked at her, but only for a second, before facing me. "Did you invite Alexis?" he spoke over the music.
I nodded.
"And?" he asked.
I hesitated, before telling him the truth. "She had a date."
"Fair enough." He sat up a little in his chair and eyed the girl again. Tyson came and took a seat next to me. "Stay with her," Ethan ordered, then got up and made his way over to the blonde.
Tyson hit my leg with the back of his hand, getting my attention. "I just saw a drunk girl dry humping some guy's leg in the hallway . . . he was barking at her."
I laughed so hard I spat out my soda, causing it to drip down my chin.
"That's so sexy," he teased.
I tried to swallow the remaining amount in my mouth. My eyes stung from the acid building behind my nose.
He moved his hands up and down as if comparing the weight of two things. "Spit . . . swallow . . ."
I spat.
His laugh was a slow build up, a chuckle turned guffaw.
I wiped my face with the back of my hand. His laugh had quieted by the time he leaned closer and wiped my chin with the sleeve of his sweater. "You're such a kid," he murmured, shaking his head from side to side.
He was so close I could smell the beer on his breath. My own breath hitched when I noticed his eyes go from mine, to my mouth. He licked his lips.
Shit.
I held his hand that was on my face and tried pushing it away, but he gripped my wrist and turned it to face him.
"What's this?" There was confusion clear in his tone.
I pulled my hand out of his grip and sat on it so he couldn't see.
"What is it?" he asked again.
"Nothing, Tyson. Leave it alone."
"When did you—"
"I said leave it alone."
He didn't mention it again.
***
The sun had started to come up by the time everyone left. I’d wanted to go to bed earlier, but I knew Ethan would shut the party down if I did, so I dealt with it.
I couldn't sleep, even if I wanted to. I lay in his bed, staring at the ceiling, trying to drown out the silence with music, but it made me feel worse.
Tyson knocked on my door before coming in. He didn't say anything; just lay on the bed, on top of the covers.
"I'd gotten so used to having someone else in the bed. It feels strange now," he explained.
"Yeah." I knew exactly what he meant. "Have you heard from her?"
"Yeah, I just got off the phone.
"And?"
"Nothing. She said she was sorry."
"Do you think you can forgive her?"
"No. I think my mind's pretty set on the whole cheating thing. If I was able to forgive, I'd have forgiven you, you know?"
I didn't know what came over me, but I reached over, felt for his hand and held it. "Yeah," I whispered.
"I'm sad, Dim." His voice broke. "Are you sad?"
"Yeah," I repeated quietly.
"You don't seem sad."
I thought about my next words. "I have to numb myself emotionally, you know? I mean it's not just me that's in this. It's Ethan, too. If I show him how bad I'm hurting, he'll want to fix it, and he can't."
He squeezed my hand once.
I continued, "We're going to be okay, Tyson."
"Yeah," he agreed. "And if not, we'll be broken together."
A few minutes of silence passed before he started to chuckle.
"What?" I asked.
He laughed harder.
"What?" I asked again.
"You should've seen this kid barking at that girl," he managed to say.
I started to giggle. "What do you mean bark? Like, howl?"
