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But she's just... sitting there now. Looking at me with an almost expectant look.
"Yeah," I nod, trying to figure out what to do next. It's not like I can just take down my website. It's too late for all that now. Maybe... I could convince them it's not me? But if I was going to do that, I should have done it already in Mr. Fletcher's office.
I try to think of some other way out of this situation, but... I'm stuck. There's nothing I can do besides just wait for this situation to unfurl. In the meanwhile...
Fuck, I need to start looking for a job again.
And apparently, that, out of everything that has happened today, is the thing that breaks me. The fluttering, panicked feeling in my chest is starting to rise up again, and it feels like the entire world might be collapsing back in on itself when I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket.
Instinctively, I reach out and check my screen. My breathing is coming in ragged gasps, and I can tell that I'm about to start crying because something is blurring my vision and stinging my eyes.
I have to blink back my tears to read what the notification that popped up on my screen says. It's an email, and my shaking fingers tap on it. It takes another few seconds for me to calm down enough to start reading what it says.
Miss Howell,
Due to some conflicts over today's meeting between the board and me, it seems like the best course of action is to have you leave work early for today to avoid any unnecessary tension in the workplace.
Just for today. I promise.
Sincerely,
Tristan Fletcher
CEO of Clear Industries
I'm about halfway through the email when I'm sure that I'm going to be fired. My chest feels tight, and I can feel my heart starting to race in my chest again before... before the last line of the email.
Strangely it’s comforting. A little bit of gentleness behind all of the professionalism. He did the same thing when he reached out and held my hand when I was in his office.
"What does it say?" Thea's voice snaps me out of my thoughts, and I glance up at her, my face only getting redder. I turn off my phone and slide it back into my pocket before she has the idea of snatching it out of my hands to try and read it for herself.
"It says that I don't have to come back to work today." I try to keep my voice as neutral as possible, but I have the feeling that it's not convincing Thea. She knows me well enough to know that my first reaction to a situation like this isn't being calm.
There's a long moment while Thea is watching me, and I'm sure she wants to ask me more questions.
But her face relaxes and her lips pull into a soft smile.
"You should go home. You look like you're about to pass out." She gives my hand one last reassuring squeeze before she pulls away from me and then pulls out her phone. "I'll call you a ride."
I would usually say no, since I could just take the metro or walk home, honestly, but I have the feeling that there's no way to change Thea's mind about this. Sometimes soon I'll take her out, buy dinner for her or something.
"Ride should be outside in a minute," Thea says, looking at me with that same sympathetic smile. "Take care of yourself."
I get up from the table with a thousand thoughts still racing through my head. I feel slightly dizzy, more than a little bit overwhelmed, and on the verge of tears. Thea is right. It's probably best if I get home soon.
So I manage to smile, hoping that it looks somewhat genuine, and wave goodbye to Thea.
"I will."
FIVE
~ Tristan ~
The hours in the office seem to drag by after I send that email to Cora. She sends a response back maybe five minutes later, but it's professional. I can barely tell how she feels behind the few lines she sends me. Not to mention the fact that the board is already being difficult, and there are no less than four people emailing me in protest right now.
I slump back into my chair and let out a sigh.
I wish Cora were here.Not that it would help or change anything. But she always helps make things manageable around here. I can't count how many times she's dealt with situations and made them seem so much more... bearable.
