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"Dr. Matthews," Cam says, shaking the doctor's hand. He holds the back of a chair and waits for me to sit before taking the seat next to me.
"How are you, Cameron?" the doctor asks.
My brows pinch in confusion.
"I'm okay, sir." He holds my hand and settles it on the desk in front of us. "This is my girlfriend Lucy."
The doctor smiles at me—the kind of warm, genuine smile that I find rare. "I see you're batting above your average," he says to Cam.
Cam chuckles. "Yes, sir. And I know it, too." He faces me and motions his head to the doctor. "This is Logan's dad."
My eyes go wide. "Oh."
Dr. Matthews lets out a laugh. "I promise I don't have my son's asshole tendencies." He winks, and I find myself relaxing.
"He's not so bad," I tell him. "He saved me from bullies once."
His smile is instant.
"You never told me that," Cam states.
I shrug. "It wasn't important. It's not like I'm into him," I joke.
Cam scoffs. "Nice. I'll remember that."
Everyone laughs. Everyone but Dad. Instead, he clears his throat, causing us to stop and pay attention. He steps behind me and places his hands on my chair. "I would—I mean, it's up to them—but I think it would be a good idea to discuss birth control."
I choke on air.
Cam lets out an indescribable sound.
Dr. Matthews' eyes dart between us. "Is this something you two would like to consider, or at least discuss?"
Silence.
Dead. Frickin'. Silence.
Then Cam clears his throat, similar to Dad only seconds ago. "We've spoken about it, sir. We want to wait until we're both mature enough to handle it emotionally. Lucy hasn't given me a time frame and I'm happy with that. I told her I'd wait, and I meant it. I'd wait forever. I don't know that it's something we have to think about right now, but if it would help her father—for his peace of mind, then I think it's a good idea." He turns to face me, squeezing my hand at the same time. "If you're comfortable with it, babe, I think it might be something we should do."
I nod. Not for me or my Dad, but for Cameron. Because he said we. It's something we should do.
Cam and I decide on Implanon—a tiny rod that gets implanted just under the skin on my arm and lasts for three years. Cam hates it. He thinks it should be him doing something, not me. He cringes as he watches it get inserted. "I'm sorry," he whispers, but he has absolutely nothing to be sorry for.
*
I thought that Dad would drive Cameron back to his house, but he doesn't. He drives us home and asks us to wait at the dining table. "I'm scared," I tell Cameron.
He puts his arm around my shoulders and kisses my temple. "You don't need to be scared, Luce. You never have to be scared when I'm here."
The scraping of a chair has us pulling apart. Dad sits opposite us, his gaze moving from me to Cam, and back again. Then slowly, he pushes a piece of paper toward me. A brochure. Family counseling. I look up at him. "I don't need counseling."
Cam settles his hand on my leg under the table.
"I know," Dad says. "But I do, Luce. I need help. Not just with raising you kids on my own but coping with having to." He leans his elbows on the table and speaks only to me. "You were absolutely right with what you said yesterday. You don't need me to save you, you have Cameron. But I need saving. And I have no one. The counseling is for me."
I open my mouth to speak but he raises his hand to stop me.
"You can't forgive my actions based on my words. Forgive me when my actions have proven that I deserve it."
*
"I still hate him." I bury my face further into his chest and throw my arm over his stomach. We're lying on my dock, waiting for the sun to set.
"I know. He said some pretty harsh things."
"Do you think your mom would let me live with you until college?"
He laughs softly. "I think I'd find a way to sneak you in and out even if she said no, but I don't think that would solve anything. It wouldn't make things right."
"I know," I sigh.
"I get where he's coming from. It has to be hard for him. And you're his little girl. He's struggling with losing your mom, and now he thinks he's losing you too."
I sit up and lean on my outstretched arm so I can look at his face.
He reaches up and moves my hair away from my eye. "I don't know, Luce. It's hard for me to understand. My dad—" His sigh cuts him off. "It's like he knows I exist, he just doesn't care that I do. He doesn't even pretend to. He doesn't even try. So it's hard for me to see things from your perspective when all I can see is a man trying to heal and make things right with you." He tries to smile but it doesn't work. "All I'm saying is that I think he means well. He just doesn't know how to deal with it. We just need to support him and give him time."
And even though I don't agree with him, I nod anyway, because he did it again. He said we. We need to give him some time.
He smiles and pulls me back into him. "I love this time of day."
"Sunset?"
"Yeah. You wanna know why?"
I nod against his chest.
"Because it reminds me of us."
"How?"
"Because it's eternal, the rise and fall of the sun. It's forever. Just like us."
