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THREE
~ Elina ~
It was just like when we were children.
Sitting side by side, we gently swung the porch swing back and forth while we sipped our drinks and chatted idly. I had avoided talking about the divorce, not wanting to lay anything too heavy down into the conversation, but as I drank more, the looser my tongue got. Eventually, I knew I couldn’t hold back any longer.
“She’s pregnant.”
Zane froze and looked across at me with wide eyes. He seemed unable to form words for a moment and just continued to look at me in horror. After a while, he spoke.
“He got her pregnant?”
I nodded solemnly, “I think that’s the thing that finally pushed him over the edge to leave me. He was starting a family. With her. Plus, she’s a lot younger. Why wouldn’t he leave me?”
He shook his head, “Because you’re amazing. He’s just a complete asshole. And for getting her knocked up? How careless can he be? It doesn’t matter. You’re better off without him. You look so vibrant now, just like old times.”
I tried to smile, but it fell flat. No matter how hard I tried to move past Seth, it would always be a sore point for me. Now he had a kid on the way. I knew that it would take a long time to heal. It was like an extra stab in the back when I was already down.
“I miss the old times,” I murmured, staring out to the street, “All the times we used to sit out here and chat late into the night. The only problems we had back then were minor issues in high school. We were so carefree.”
He nodded, “Your parents were like a second family to me. They were always so accepting. This was my haven away from home. It was our spot.”
I placed a hand gently on his, “It still is our spot. Now I’m back, and I see no reason why we can’t go back to the way things were. You’re single. I’m single. Why can’t we just hang out again? Divorced life suits us.”
Zane’s eyes held the dark secrets of his past. I had regretted not being there for him when his wife left. Seth refused to let me visit him by myself, and I knew it would do more harm than good to bring him along when comforting Zane. It had killed me to watch him and his son struggle from afar, completely helpless to intervene. I still never understood why Mei left them. She left her entire family behind to go back to China. I had heard she wanted to look after her elderly parents, but why would she give up a loving husband and son instead of taking them with her?
As we continued to chat and reminisce about old times, the sun started to fade behind the houses. People were returning home from work, passing by idly. An older man in a bowler hat, frowning at our raucous laughter. A young brunette with a laptop bag, seemingly admiring our joyous state. A cute couple walking hand-in-hand, smiling as they walked by. I’m not sure how much time passed by, but we had soon depleted the majority of the bottle, and I was swaying on the seat. A lull in the conversation had us looking at one another. I couldn’t tell if it was the alcohol or my current emotional state, but I started to see Zane in a different light. No longer the best friend I had spent so many years with, but more the high school crush that I could never quite get.
My mouth unfiltered, I asked, “Why did your parents never let us get together?”
Zane looked surprised, “As friends? Or as something else?”
I shrugged, “Either. I saw the way they looked at me. That’s why you always hid out at my place.”
“Simple,” he sighed, “You weren’t Chinese. My dad disapproved of me having a relationship with someone non-Chinese. What a hypocrite. He married my mom, who’s white. She liked you. Maybe them not having a good marriage left a sour taste in his mouth. I never took much thought of it, though. Nothing could stop me from being close to you.”
His words seemed to hit deep within me, and I felt my stomach somersault. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? Was he just referring to friendship or something else? And why did I hope it was something else?
“Zane,” I said breathily, “If things were different when we were younger, if your father were more accepting, then would our relationship be something else?”
I let the thought sink into both our minds. I knew that if I didn’t ask it now, I would never have the courage to ask when I was sober. But it just felt right. Like it was something I should have asked years ago, but my marriage had prevented me. Now I was free from those shackles, and I wanted to know the truth.
His eyes darkened as he looked across at me, “Yes. I think it would have. You’ve always been beautiful, smart, and caring. You’ve always meant the world to me. Maybe that’s why Seth was jealous. Maybe it’s because we always should have been together, and he knows it. He knew that his relationship would never be as strong as ours.”
“And now?” I asked, sliding closer to him.
He leaned in, his mouth just inches from mine, “And now I want you more than ever.”
Wrapping his arms around me, he pulled me in close, his lips bending down to meet mine. Something I had dreamed about since high school had finally come to pass, and I wasn’t disappointed. As soon as our mouths connected, it was as though a thousand tiny fireworks exploded inside of me. A rush of joy flooded through me, making me giddy as I pushed into him. Our mouths melded together and fitted perfectly in their dance of passion. Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine the feeling I had as I kissed Zane for the first time. And by the time we pulled apart, I knew there was one thing I was absolutely sure of.
Things would never be the same again.
