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NINE
~ Aria ~
That kiss. Why couldn’t I stop thinking about that kiss? And yet, every time I did, it ended in that one line that drove a stake through my heart. It was just a bit of fun for him in our fake relationship. And I had agreed to it. That’s why, when the text message came the next day, I wasn’t surprised.
Up to have some fun tonight? Meet me outside at 10 – S.
What was he up to now? I wanted to look forward to it, I really did. Spending time with Sam always seemed to make me happy. But it was just an act. My feelings were all over the place, not being able to differentiate between real and fake. The blur had warped my mind, and with it, I could feel myself being depleted. I wanted to make Maya happy, but to what extent? Was I really willing to let go of myself to do it?
The loud knock on the door was enough to stir me from my thoughts. Without waiting for an answer, Kelly strode into the room.
“Go on then,” she sat down next to me, “Tell me what’s wrong. Why the long face?”
“He kissed me last night.”
“That would seem a natural part of a fake relationship. I suppose to keep up appearances?”
“We were alone.”
“Oh…”
I looked across at my sister. Her hair was a more honeyed darker blonde than my own, and she had inherited dad’s light brown eyes. Despite the lines forming on her face, she still reminded me of when she was younger, protective, fierce, and always there to help me.
“He took me to Elderberry Park; you remember where we used to hang out after school? We talked about the old times, and then he kissed me.”
“And then what?”
“And then he said we might as well have fun, even in our fake relationship.”
“Ouch,” her brow furrowed, “And I suppose this isn’t what you wanted to hear?”
I shook my head, “I’m not sure. I mean, I don’t know. I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel.”
Kelly wrapped an arm around me, “You’re not supposed to feel any particular way. You just need to be true to yourself. I had anticipated this fake relationship would stir up some genuine emotions. You were in love when you were younger, after all.”
“Can I really call it love if we were teenagers? We didn’t know what we were doing.”
“Love is love, no matter your age. You said you loved him when you were younger, and therefore you loved him. So, now when you’re playing pretend, it’s natural that you remember those past emotions.”
I wrung my hands together on my lap. I could feel Kelly looking over at me, but I couldn’t meet her eyes. I knew what she was saying was true, but I wasn’t ready to admit that yet.
“He wants to meet again tonight.”
“Are you going?”
I nodded, “I suppose so. Maybe it will help me understand what is going on between us.”
Kelly stood up, “Maybe. But remember to be careful. This fake relationship could lead to some very real heartbreak.”
I didn’t know what to expect, so I had changed into something comfy once again. I had the same jeans from the night before but this time paired with a simple t-shirt. In Summer, the heat remained in the evenings, and yesterday had gone to prove it. The t-shirt fitted around me snuggly and emphasized my curves. I knew that Sam would appreciate it from that perspective.
Just before ten, I glanced in the mirror. I gave myself a quick internal pep talk, trying to get myself in the mindset that it was only fun. I knew it wouldn’t stick, but it was worth a shot. Slowly, I went downstairs, making sure not to disturb the rest of the slumbering family members before making my exit out the front door.
“You look amazing.”
I turned to see Sam, half-hidden in the shadows. He stepped into the light, and I could tell he had put in an effort with his clothing. Everything looked in pristine state despite the casual look he was trying to go for. Was he trying to impress me?
“Thanks, you don’t look so bad yourself. So, may I ask what’s on the agenda for tonight?”
